Blind Date

Crime Steve Investigation Season 2, Ep 11 06/20/2016 Views: 1,527

A woman is upset to find out that the mythical horse she agreed to go on a date with isn't a unicorn. (1:31)

- Uh, it's just thatyour profile said,

"Mythical equine,loves to travel."

- I do love to travel.

- But...

- There areother mythical horses

besides unicorns.

- I know.

I swear, one of my best friendsis a centaur.

- Oh, good,that's great.

I guessyou can't be a bigot

since you're friendswith a half horse.

I didn't know I was havingdinner with Gandhi.

- That's not reallywhat this is--

- The horndoesn't even do anything!

It's just a phallic ornament!

I've got wings.

You know what they do?

They make me fly!

And anyonewho's sitting on me flies!

What do--what happenswhen you sit on a unicorn?

Your--your view is blockedby a [bleep] horn!

- Oh, my God.

- I'd like to go home now.

- [sighs]

You know what?[sighs]

I deserve that.

Let me--let me fly you home.- Really?

- No!No, I'm not gonna fly you home!

I am not gonna majesticallyswoop above the clouds

and silhouette us

in the goddamnglowing crescent moon!

You could've lookedlike the design

on the side of a stoner's van,and you blew it.

- This is whyI only date unicorns.

- Is this what you want?Huh?

Are you not turned on?

I'm a unicornwhose horn gives pepper!

Answer my magical questions,

and I'll lead you to a big potof golden [bleep] you!