Tommy Johnagin - Let's Get Some Pot

  • Season 2, Ep 3
  • 04/07/2011
  • Views: 21,716

Tommy Johnagin got high for the first and last time, thanks to his friend with a medical marijuana card. (2:29)

I GOT HIGH FOR THE FIRSTAND LAST TIME EVER THIS...

(audience member claps)ALL RIGHT. PERFECT.THANK YOU.

LIKE HE WORKS ON COMMISSIONOR SOMETHING.

I WAS LIKE, "YEAH,THEY BOUGHT IT FROM ME.

I GET 3% OF THAT."

IT'S THE LAST TIME ALSO.

DON'T GET COCKY OVER THERE.

I'M NOT GONNA HANG OUT WITH YOU,IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.

(laughter)

I HAD NEVER DONE IT.I WAS WITH A GIRL.

SHE HAD NEVER DONE IT.SO I SAID LET'S DO IT.

LET'S DO IT.I'M GONNA GET SOME POT.

WE'RE GONNA DO SOME POT.WE'RE GONNA GET HIGH ON POT.

(laughter)

SHE GOES, "WE'RE NOT GONNAGET ANY IF YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT.

I FEEL LIKE YOU'REA COP RIGHT NOW."

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HASA MEDICAL MARIJUANA CARD,

WHICH MEANS HE CAN LEGALLYACQUIRE MARIJUANA

AND ILLEGALLY GIVE IT TO MEIN A CHIPOTLE PARKING LOT.

(laughter)

WHICH IS WHAT WE DID.

HE GOT US TWO RICE KRISPIESTREATS WITH WEED IN 'EM

OR WEED TREATSWITH RICE KRISPIES ON 'EM.

I'M NOT SURE HOW THEY LISTTHE INGREDIENTS.

SHE SAID, "WE SHOULDPROBABLY ONLY EAT HALF,"

AND I SAID, "YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT LET'S EAT THEM ALLAND SEE WHAT HAPPENS."

AND--'CAUSE I KNEW WHAT'SGOING TO HAPPEN.

SHE'S A SMALLER PERSON.IT'S GONNA HIT HER FIRST.

I'M GONNA GET TO WATCHWHILE IT HAPPENS--

SHE'S THE GHOSTOF MARIJUANA FUTURE.

I CAN JUST OBSERVE.

SHE STARTS LICKING HER LIPS

AND SMACK--AND LICKING MOST OF HER FACE.

LET'S BE HONEST.

AND THEN SHE GOES,"I DON'T THINK IT'S HIT ME YET."

"WELL, I HOPE IT HAS BECAUSEIF YOU DO THAT NORMALLY,

I'M LEAVING."

(laughter)

THEN SHE STARTED LAUGHING.

OBVIOUSLY,I KNEW THAT WAS COMING.

I'VE SEEN AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIALS.I KNOW LAUGHTER HAPPENS.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LAUGH.I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

THEN I START LAUGHING,

SHE STARTED CRYINGHYSTERICALLY.

BUT I COULD NOT STOPLAUGHING.

(laughter)

I DIDN'T LIKE IT.I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

AT ONE POINT,I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE.

DID YOU KNOW--DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT?

I HAD TO SAY ALOUD,"BREATHE IN!"

AND THENI ONLY BREATHED IN.

(laughter)

SO I SAID, "WE'RE NOT GOOD.WE'RE NOT GOOD AT BEING HIGH.

YOU SUCK AT IT. I SUCK AT IT.LET'S GO TO SLEEP."

DRUGS CAN'T GET YOUIN YOUR SLEEP.

(laughter)

THAT'S WHEN I LEARNEDIF YOU JUST MAKE SOMETHING UP,

IT'S NOT TRUE.

(laughter)

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