Jared Logan - Superhero Movie

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 10/09/2012
  • Views: 5,985

Jared Logan looks too much like somebody who should be wearing a Batman t-shirt. (1:41)

I LIKE WHAT I'M WEARING TONIGHT,

BUT IT'S JUST--I'M NOTEVEN COMFORTABLE IN THIS.

I WOULD RATHER BE WEARING,LIKE, A BATMAN T-SHIRT,

BUT I CAN'T WEARA BATMAN T-SHIRT,

BECAUSE I ALREADY LOOKTOO MUCH LIKE SOMEONE

WHO SHOULD BE WEARINGA BATMAN T-SHIRT.

STRANGERS WALK UP TO MEAND THEY'RE LIKE,

"YOU LIKE BATMAN, RIGHT?"I'M LIKE, "YES.

"I'M FAMILIARWITH THE CAPED CRUSADER.

WHAT ASPECT OF HIS ADVENTURESWOULD YOU LIKE TO DISCUSS?"

WHEN I WEAR A BATMAN T-SHIRT,

I DON'T LOOK LIKEI'M INTO BATMAN.

I LOOK LIKE MY MOTHERLEFT ME IN TARGET

AND I DON'T KNOW HOWTO GET HOME.

I WOULD LOVETO BE IN A SUPERHERO MOVIE,

BUT I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF

TO KNOW THAT I COULD NEVER PLAYTHE SUPERHERO.

OR I COULDN'T EVEN PLAYTHE VILLAIN REALLY.

IF I WAS IN A SUPERHERO MOVIE,

I THINK MY ROLE WOULD BE

GUY WHO'S EXCITEDABOUT HIS BIG SANDWICH.

IT WOULD PROBABLY BE MEIN A DELI

ABOUT TO BITEINTO A HUGE SANDWICH.

LIKE, A REALLY BIG SANDWICH.

LIKE, EXCITEMENT ON MY FACE.

LIKE, SWEATINGBECAUSE OF THE SANDWICH.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?LIKE, OH, BOY!

LIKE, "HEAR I COME, SANDWICH."

AND JUST AS I'M ABOUTTO BITE IN--

I'M LIKE [grunts]--

THE SUPERHERO AND THE VILLAINGO BY FIGHTING,

LIKE [gibberish].

AND I'M LIKE,"WHAT THE--"

AND I DROP IT.

AND I'M LIKE, "OH! MY SANDWICH."

CUT AWAY, NEVER SEE ME AGAININ THE MOVIE.

I'M NOT CREDITED AT THE END.I'M NOT IN THE CREDITS.

THEY PAY ME WITH THE SANDWICH.

THEY'RE LIKE,"THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOUFOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION."

[laughter]

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