in pictures, too?
I hate bunny ears in photos.
If ever there was a signof "I'm not funny,"
it would be a bunny ear,you know?
And I always wonder, like,back in the day
when it was made upby some guy in the '70s
with Speedos on,and had a German accent--
I imagine he created it--did it ever trick anybody?
Like, "Hey, check outthis picture of my sister.
I think you'd really like her."
"What the hell, you didn'ttell me she was a rabbit!"
No, no, no, no, I want to datea hot chick, not a bunny!"
I just did this with my hand."
"What are you, a wizard?"
( laughter )
Yeah, I am.
I'm very dramatic.I think everyone's dramatic.
Don't you think peoplein your lives are always trying
to create drama, right?
Like, for example, I sawthis sign in the street, right?
It said "Lost cat. Lost Fluffy.
Please callwith any information."
And that's cool,but on the bottom it said
"No questions asked."
I was, like, why, is the catinvolved in some drug ring?
So this is what I would doif I found this kitten.
I would take herand I would shave her,
and I would dye her purple,
and I'd putlittle leather pants on her,
and I'd teach her how to talksomehow-- I don't know how--
and I'd bring her back,
and I'd be, like,"Here's Fluffy,"
and they'd be, like,"What happened?! How'd..."
( crowd whooping, cheering )
Sweet little flyer here said"No questions asked."
That's too bad,
'cause it is some story.
I'm not talkin'.
Well, Fluffy's, like,"She got me off... ( muffled )
So, uh,I don't go on dates much.
Mostly becauseyou always go to movies,
you always haveto order popcorn.
Did you ever noticeyou can't eat popcorn
without looking starving?
You know?You can't just, like,
sexy eat it,you always have to be,
( laughter )
( deep grunt ):Aaahh!
No, I'm not hungry.Why do you ask?
( grunts ):Aaahh!
( exhales, chuckles )
Something in itthat falls on you,
you have no problem
picking it up off yourself...
I've been known to reachbetween my legs
for a kernel.
It's all good.
Are you gonna eat that?
( chuckles ):Thank you.
Where are you going?
( laughter, applause )
But I love you.
That's my time, everyone.Thank you so much.