Patty Hearst

  • Season 1 , Ep 5
  • 08/06/2013
  • Views: 79,261

After being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army and held captive for months, Patty Hearst joins the group and tries to solicit money from her own parents. (2:15)

IN THIS NICE APARTMENTTHAT HER PARENTS ARE PAYING FOR.

SO THEY'RE SITTING AT HOME,

AND SHE'S READINGIN HER BATHROBE WITH HER FIANCE.

AND THEN THERE'S, LIKE,A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

[dog barking]NO. CUTIE, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S FAKE.

THEY DIDN'T HAVE DOGS.

QUIET!QUIET, QUIET, QUIET!

SHE OPENS THE DOOR.

LIKE, OH, CAN WE HELP YOU?

OH, WE RAN OUT OF GAS MONEY.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,THEY ALL CAME POURING IN.

AND THEY'RE LIKE, AHH!

AND THEY BEAT UPTHE MATH TEACHER,

STRANGLE HER,AND TAKE HER CAPTIVE.

BRING HER IN A VANOVER TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS.

SHE'S BLINDFOLDED.SHE'S GAGGED.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S GAGGED.SHE'S DEFINITELY BLINDFOLDED.

THEY PUT HER IN THIS CLOSET.IT'S LIKE THE SIZE OF A CLOSET.

AND SHE DOESN'T KNOWWHAT'S HAPPENING, REALLY.

SO IT'S 57 DAYSSHE'S IN THIS ROOM.

SO FINALLY, ONE DAY,

THEY LET HER GET OUTOF THE CLOSET,

AND THEY TAKE OFFHER BLINDFOLD.

AND SHE LOOKS OUTAND SHE SEES ALL THE PEOPLE.

SHE'S LIKE, OH, MY GOD,YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

OH, WHO ARE THESE PEO--

LIKE, YOU GUYS LIKE--YOU'RE MY MOMMY.

THIS IS ESSENTIALLYWHAT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME IS.

THAT WAS THE SYMBIONESELIBERATION ARMY.

"SYMBIONESE" IS NOT A WORD.

IT'S--THEY KINDA MADE IT UP.

THEY'RE NOT THE BRIGHTEST PEOPLEIN THE WORLD.

NOW YOUR NAME'S TANIA.

AND THIS IS YOUR NEW LIFE.

AND SHE'S LIKE...

OKAY.

[upbeat rock]

AND THEN THEY DOA PHOTO SHOOT,

AND SHE PUT THE BERET ONAND A MACHINE GUN,

AND SHE'S, LIKE,ALL WITH THE S.L.A.

SO SHE STARTED RECORDINGTHESE AUDIO TAPES

AND SENDING THEMTO HER PARENTS.

MOM, DAD, I'M OKAY.

BUT I NEED YOU TO FEEDEVERY POOR PERSON.

THAT ENDS UP BEINGLIKE 300,000.

$300 MILLION.

THEY'RE ALREADY STUPID.LIKE, THEY COULD NOT COUNT.

AND THE HEARSTS ARE LIKE,WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY.

WE'LL GIVE YOU $3 MILLION.

WHATEVER, DUDE.

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