-I have a friend whowas born on Christmas.
And he goes aroundtelling everyone
that that's the reasonwhy he is so gifted.
But he's also adopted.
So in reality, he is re-gifted.
I was reading thisbook about parenting,
and it said that youshould start disciplining
your children asearly as possible.
So I punched myselfin the balls.
Then, for the firsttime, I got to say,
this is going tohurt me a lot more
than it's going to hurt you.
Losing my virginity wasa lot like the Holocaust.
It never happened.
I went to this gay barcalled Woody's to be
supportive of agay friend of mine.
And while I was there,a man grabbed my butt
and winked at me.
I was little weirdedout at first,
but then, I started tofeel kind of special.
No one's ever grabbed mybutt like that before.
But then, a fewmoments later, I saw
the same man grabanother guy's butt.
I was devastated.
I'm not gay.
I didn't want to be with him.
I just didn't want himto be with anybody else.