Josh Sneed - Bob the Builder

  • Season 11 , Ep 18
  • 03/29/2007
  • Views: 7,129

Bob the Builder has no powers; he just builds stuff. (2:03)

FROM TIME TO TIME LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, YOU KNOW.

I WAS WATCHING MY LITTLE COUSIN AND I ASKED HIM

WHAT KIND OF TV HE WANTED TO SEE. SO HE WAS LIKE,

BOB THE BUILDER. I WAS LIKE, "REALLY?"

I WAS LIKE, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SPIDERMAN AND BATMAN

AND SUPERMAN, AND WONDER WOMAN,AND HE MAN, AND VOLTRON,

AND THE THUNDER CATS, AND THE TRANSFORMERS, RIGHT,

- PEOPLE THAT COULD DO STUFF... - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THAT NO OTHER HUMAN COULD DO.

THAT'S WHY YOU WANTEDTO BE 'EM ON HALLOWEEN,

WHY THEY'RE ON YOUR UNDEROOS WHEN YOU WENT TO BED,

'CAUSE THEY SAVED THE DAY WHEN NO ONE ELSE COULD.

EVEN STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE SMELLED NICE FOR THE BOYS.

NOW, WHAT'S MY POINT?I'LL TELL YOU,

BOB THE BUILDER JUST-- BUILDS STUFF, YEAH.

HE HAS NO POWERS. HE CAN'T HANG DRYWALL WITH HIS MIND, OKAY?

HE DOESN'T HAVE MAGIC SHEETROCK OR SOME STORY ABOUT

HOW HE GOT SHOT WITH A NAIL GUN WHEN HE WAS A BABY

AND THAT'S HOW THIS WHOLE THINGS GOT STARTED. HE JUST BUILDS STUFF.

NOW PEOPLE, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A CONSTRUCTION WORKER,

BUT THAT IS A BIT MISLEADING TO THESE KIDS, ISN'T IT?

MY LITTLE COUSIN SITS THERE,

"I WANNA BE LIKE BOB THE BUILD ONE DAY." OF COURSE YOU DO,

"'CAUSE YOU THINK THE MACHINES ARE GONNA SING SONGS WHILE YOUR WORKING.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUSHROOMS YOU HAVE TO EAT BEFORE THAT'S

- "EVER GONNA HAPPEN? - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SEVEN. SEVEN MUSHROOMS."

MY FRIEND BRIAN FOUND OUT, WE SAT AROUND ONE NIGHT,

I WAS LIKE "CAN WE BUILD IT?" FINALLY HE SAID, "YES, WE CAN."

I WAS LIKE "I KNEW IT!" SEVEN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY LITTLE COUSIN IS A TRIP THROUGH.

HE LISTENS TO RAP MUSIC. BOB THE BUILDER AND HIP-HOP.

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM DO IT

AND HIS MOTHER SWEARS SHE NEVER HAS IT ON,

BUT HE GETS THISFROM SOMEWHERE.

I WALKED IN ON HIM ONE TIME SCREAMING AT HIS EASTER BASKET.

HE'S DOWN ON THE GROUND, "AAAHH, AAAHH!"

AND I'M LIKE, "ANDY, WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

HE'S LIKE, "I'M GIVINGSHOUT OUTS TO MY PEEPS."

- AND I WAS LIKE-- YOU-- - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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