Wanda Sykes - The Marriage Business

Wanda Sykes: Tongue Untied Season 1, Ep 101 01/09/2003 Views: 20,767

Wanda Sykes doesn't see the point of getting married when she's perfectly capable of doing her own laundry. (2:28)

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YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK MARRIAGE IS ANINSTITUTION FOR RAISING

CHILDREN.

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

I DON'T SEE THE OTHER PERKS,MYSELF.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S THE ONLY REASON TO GET

MARRIED.

WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE SICKLY.

IF YOU'RE SICKLY, THEN--YOU KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)YOU KNOW, GET MARRIED, HAVE

SOMEBODY TAKE CARE OF YOURSICK ASS.

YOU KNOW.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S JUST

FOR RAISING KIDS.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY?

THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE.

I THINK WHEN YOU GET MARRIEDYOU'RE GOING INTO BUSINESS

TOGETHER.

YOU'RE DOING-- YOU'RE OPENINGA BUSINESS, RIGHT?

IN ALL BUSINESS, YOU HAVE TOHAVE A PRODUCT.

GOTTA PRODUCE SOMETHING.

WHY ARE YOU IN BUSINESS?

SEE WE WERE MARRIED SEVEN YEARS,NO KIDS.

SO, WE WENT OUTTA BUSINESS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)NO INVENTORY.

I DIDN'T GET IT 'CAUSE TO MEIT WAS LIKE THIS.

OKAY.

I WAS TAKING CARE OF MYSELFBEFORE I MET YOU.

YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELFBEFORE YOU MET ME.

LET'S JUST CONTINUE DOWN THISSAME PATH.

YOU KNOW, LET'S BE TOGETHERSEPARATELY.

THAT WAS WORKING FOR ME.

BUT HE WOULD COME HOME AND JUSTSTAY STUFF TO ME THAT I JUST

DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

HE WOULD WALK IN THE DOOR--"AH, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"

"I DON'T KNOW, WHAT'D YOU COOK?"(LAUGHTER)

I ATE ALREADY.

I'M"--(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

HE WOULD ACTUALLY SAY STUFF LIKETHAT.

HE ACTUALLY SAID THIS ONE TIME.

"I'M ALL OUTTA CLEAN UNDERWEAR."

"OOH, YOU NEED TO WASH.

(LAUGHTER)I DID MY LAUNDRY YESTERDAY.

I GOT A DRAWER FULL OF CLEANPANTIES.

LOOK AT THERE.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO BORROW A PAIRTO TIDE YOU OVER IF YOU LIKE."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)RAISING KIDS, MAN.

AND I GET ASKED THAT A LOT, TOO.

PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, DON'T YOUREGRET NOT HAVING KIDS?"

AND I GO, "NOT REALLY."

AND THEN IF THEY KEEP ASKING,I ALWAYS SAY THIS.

"WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE ONE DAYI'LL ADOPT."

BUT I DON'T MEAN THAT.

I DON'T.

(LAUGHTER)IT'S JUST SOMETHING I SAY

TO MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A NICERPERSON, THAT'S ALL.

I DON'T MEAN THAT.

(LAUGHTER)