Janeane Garofalo - Renewed Vigor

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/22/2010
  • Views: 11,631

A pair of Spanx and talc can help you get more done during the dog days of August. (1:09)

I'VE BEEN DOING THISA LOT LATELY.

I'D LIKE TO CHECK WHEREMY TIGHTS ARE.

RIGHT--YEP, RIGHT--(laughter)

ALL THE WAY UP--

ALL THE WAY--ALL THE WAY UP.

IN THIS ECONOMY,DON'T KID YOURSELF,

ALL THE WAY UP.(laughter)

THEY'RE CALLED SPANXWITH AN "X".

AND IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIARWITH SPANX,

IT'S A FOUNDATION GARMENT.

AND, UM, 'CAUSE HERE'S WHAT--HERE'S WHAT'S HAPPENING.

I'M A MIDDLE-AGED LADY,AND AS A MIDDLE-AGED LADY,

I FIND THAT MY BALLS AREDROPPING AT AN ALARMING--(laughter)

AN ALARMING RATE,

AND, YOU KNOW, AS YOU MAYOR MAY NOT KNOW--

SOME OF YOU AREARE SLIGHTLY OLDER--

IT'S LIKE HAVINGA SOUP LADLE DOWN THERE

JUST CLANGING AROUND,AND IN THE DOG DAYS OF AUGUST

SOMETIMES IT STICKSTO THE SIDE OF YOUR LEG,

SO I FIND THAT SOME TALCAND A PAIR OF SPANX,

I GET A LOT MORE DONEIN A DAY.(laughter)

RENEWED VIGOR.

IT'S A--BECAUSE ACTUALLYIT'S--IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,

JUST, THE SPANX,THEY JUST KIND OF--

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE WHEN THESECOME OFF,

IT'S LIKE A BUNCH OF WATERBALLOONS OR A MELTING CANDLE.(laughter)

IT JUST--IT JUST SORT OFKEEPS ALL YOUR TROOPS

IN ONE FOXHOLE, SO TO SPEAK,AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

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