- Sarah Tiana?
She's really good at roasting, and that's about it.
- When I go into a roast battle,
I don't want just to win it.
I want my jokes to be the best of the night.
(bleep) is literally the only thing on this planet
you won't eat.
(laughter and cheers)
- I defeated war criminal Steve Rannazzisi.
Scale of one to 10, I'm gonna give that
a ground zero, Steve.
(cheers and laughter)
Of this shame, and hiswife just stood by him.
She's so strong and supportive.
If only the towers were made of her.
- Ah, (bleep)!
- I'm the only Canadian in this,
so I kinda feel like I have the Montreal crowd behind me.
- I'm a naturally unlikable guy.
I think the audience just sort of digs a bad guy,
but the judges I think, want to write their own story.
- It's so much fun to see white boys fight.
- I like the wave.
- How you doin' wave?
(hard rock music)(laughter and applause)
- I feed off of their energy.
When Jamar does that back-flip,
that's normally whenyou know that it's over.
- What the (bleep) was that!
- I am gonna change up my strategy.
- He's comin' at me like Eminem in 8-mile, you know?
Got a little mom's spaghetti on his--
You know what I mean?
- Matt Broussard and Ralphie May
are the complete opposites.
People look at me and think homeless person.
They look at you and think date rapist
who leaves every victim with an autographed head shot.
If every horrible thingthat could happen to you
in the chocolate factory happened,
that's what I'm facing now.
- Ralphie May, everybody!
- The audience?
I don't know if they're ready for how hard we're gonna go.
(cheers and applause)
- Great battle.
I love you guys.
- Tonight I'm up against Earl Skakel,
is I think his name.
You know, I looked on IMDB.
- Jimmy's kind of a,
he's kind of like a Christian Bale in American Psycho.
- The suit, the clipboard, the evil, devil-like laugh.
I take my hat off to you.
You look like the roast master champion.
- [Jimmy] Because of my elaborate
pro wrestling-style intros,
I almost automatically win the crowd.
- I think it's great that he's here.
I think it's a night off for the family.
- He's the champ.
But he's the champ because I wasn't
in the tournament last year.
So I hope you enjoyedyour year run, brother.
- [Voiceover] Battle!