Tony Roberts - Sex Tape

  • Season 2 , Ep 2
  • 01/26/2012
  • Views: 6,639

Tony Roberts explains why you shouldn't watch yourself having sex. (2:32)

- WHEN YA'LL BRINGIN'POP LOCKIN' BACK?

I'M STILL DOIN' THAT SHIT.

I BE IN THE CLUBWITH WHITE GLOVES ON

WAITIN' FOR A BITCHTO ASK ME TO DANCE.

"YOU WANNA DANCE--YOU DONE FUCKED UP, BITCH."

YOU EVER DO SOME DUMB SHIT?

I SPENT $430 ATA 99 CENT STORE.

I CAN'T STOPPICKIN' SHIT UP!

ANYBODY HERE THAT BEEN TO A 99CENT STORE SAY THE SAME THING,

"AIN'T NO WAY ALLTHIS SHIT IS 99 CENTS!

"HELL NO!

"HELL NO!

"GIVE ME 15 OF THESEMOTHER FUCKERS!"

I'M PUSHIN' MY CART LIKEMY CAR OUT OF GAS.

I'M IN THE MOTHERFUCKER LIKE,

"99 CENT--ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS!"

I SEE SOME OFYA'LL COUPLED UP.

YOU EVER MADE A SEX TAPEWITH YOUR GIRL AND WATCHED IT?

YOU EVER DID THAT?

SHIT-- LET ME TELL YASOMETHIN'.

FELLAS, YOU THINKYOU LOOK GOOD.

YOU THINK YOU FEELSEXY HAVIN' SEX.

DON'T WATCH YOURSELF FUCK,UNLESS YOU BEEN TO THE GYM.

IT'LL FUCK YOURSELF ESTEEM UP.

AS SOON AS I PUTTHE SEX TAPE IN, I BE,

"WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!

"NO, NO,WHO-WHO'S THAT!"

YOU NEVER SEEN YOURWHOLE ASS FROM THE BACK.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW YOU LOOK.

I GOT TWO DENTS IN MY SHITI AIN'T NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

I'M HITTIN' ITFROM THE SIDE.

I SAID, "GIRL,YOU PREGNANT."

SHE SAID, "NIGGER,THAT'S YOU."

I'M LIKE A KANGAROO.

OH, THIS IS-- THIS IS HOW I AM,MY STOMACH ON THE ASS.

I GOT A PHOBIA OFSLEEPIN' NAKED.

I DON'T DO IT--I'M SCARED.

I GOTTA RUN OUT THEHOUSE REAL FAST.

I DON'T KNOW WHEREIT COME FROM.

I LAY DOWN WITH YOU NAKED.

TEN MINUTES LATER, I GOT MYSHORTS, T-SHIRT ON,

MY SHOES RIGHT THERE.

WHAT IF THE HOUSE CATCH FIREAND WE ASLEEP,

AND BY THE TIMETHEY GET TO US,

THE SMOKE-THE SMOKE'S SO THICK,WE CAN'T FIND OUR CLOTHES.

AND THE FIREMAN PUTTHE BIG HARD ASS,

WET GLOVE UP MY ASS ANDTAKE ME OUTSIDE NAKED.

AND I'M ON HIS SHOULDERPLEADIN' WITH THE FIREFIGHTER,

"DON'T TAKE MEOUTSIDE LIKE THIS!

"LET ME BURN,MOTHER FUCKER!"

HE THROW ME ON THEGRASS, COLD, WET GRASS.

MY NEIGHBOR'S LOOKIN'.

IT'S COLD AND WET--MY DICK DONE SHRIVELED UP.

LIKE, "OH, LOOK AT HIM--HE'S AN INFANT."

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