Sandra Bernhard - Gold's Gym

Bob Odenkirk & Janeane Garofalo Season 1, Ep 0139 02/24/1992 Views: 3,451

All the women at Sandra's gym are done up. (2:03)

SOME KIDS JUST FLEW OVERFROM ARSENIO.

( laughter )

THEY'RE BARKING AT ME.

OH, LOOK... GREAT TATTOO.

I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT BEFORE.

WHY WOULD I?

YOU'RE SITTING IN THE BACK,I COULDN'T SEE.

WHAT, DO I HAVE X-RAY VISION?

WHAT IS THAT-- A CAT?

THAT'S ONE SOLID TATTOO, LADY.

YOU'RE INTO A LITTLE BITOF MASOCHISM, JUST A LITTLE.

OR DID YOU DO IT TO YOURSELF?

YOU'RE SADISTIC, BUT YOUCOULDN'T FIND ANYBODY ELSE?

WHAT'S THAT?

( inaudible )

I BET YOU WERE.

YOU WERE IN PRISON.

YOU JUST MEANT TO DOA COUPLE TEARDROPS

BUT IT TURNED INTOA CAT WITH A HAT.

( laughter )

A VERY FUNKY TOP HAT.

THAT'S WILD.

WHERE DID YOU HAVE THAT DONE?IN TOWN?

ANOTHER TOWN?

( inaudible )

WHAT?

( inaudible )

OH, I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS

BUT I'D LIKE TO FIND HERAND SMACK HER

FOR DOING THAT TO YOU.

WHAT A HORRIBLE THINGTO DO TO SOMEBODY.

DID THEY HAVE YOUTIED DOWN AT THE TIME?

WERE YOU, LIKE, ON MIND CONTROLDRUGS OR SOMETHING?

WHAT WOULD POSSESS SOMEBODYTO DO A SOLID TATTOO?

ESPECIALLY A WOMAN-- A FRAIL LITTLE THING YOU ARE.

DO YOU WORK OUT?

NO, YOU DON'T.

ONE OF THE FEW WOMENIN LOS ANGELES

WHO DOESN'T, OBVIOUSLY.

OF COURSE, I WORK OUT TOO--

AT GOLD'S GYM INNORTH HOLLYWOOD, YOU KNOW.

( hooting )

NOW I WON'T GETA WORKOUT IN PEACE.

NO, BUT ALL THE WOMEN THERE,THEY COME COMPLETELY COIFFED

WITH NAILS,AND DO THE WHOLE NUMBER.

WHEN THEY SWEAT, THEYIMMEDIATELY KIND OF BLOT IT UP

AND THEY'RE REAL BITCHY, LIKE,"OH, WOW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHO ARE YOU WORKING OUT WITH?"

THEY JUST, LIKE, REALLYGIVE YOU MAJOR ATTITUDE.

PUSH YOU OUT OF THE WAY

WEARING HIGH HEELS WHILETHEY WORK OUT AND STUFF.

( laughter )

AND THEY'RE REAL DUMB, TOO.

IF THEY'RE THERE INTHE MIDDLE OF THE DAY

AND THEY'RE NOT ACTRESSES,YOU KNOW THEY'RE REALLY DUMB.

OF COURSE, EVEN THE ACTRESSESTHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY

INCLUDING ME,ARE PRETTY STUPID, SO...