Oh, you guys are feeling goodtonight.
Awesome, I'm feeling prettygood myself.
Slept like a baby last night.
I, uh, woke up every twohours screaming in the dark.
And then I [bleep] my pantsand almost died for,
like, no reason whatsoever.
I recently had a woman tellme that I was a quiet
orgasm-er, which I didn'teven know that was something
I could fail at.
But it is true, I'm veryquiet.
I'm just... [quiet grunt]
That's the way Godmade me, you know,
just like a little kittensneeze, you know?
Just like, "oh, oh,oh! [sneezes]"
But she was like, you know,
"I would like to know when ithappens,"
and so then, the next timewe had sex,
I was really in my head and Iwas like,
I gotta make a noise.
So I actually went, "oh,oh... oh, boy!"
Which is the exact sound thatturns a vagina to sandpaper.
But now I'm a little moremature.
You know, now when I orgasm,I just go,
"oh, oh... I'll havewhat me's having!"
I lost a few ofyou on that one.
But I do believe that isthe funniest thing I have
ever said in my life.