Greg Giraldo - Gay Marriage

Season 1 , Ep 0101 12/08/02 Views: 7,091

Gay guys should have to get married and adopt kids. (1:51)

TOO ABRUPTLY HERE BUT I HATE

PEOPLE WHO EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T MEAN, UH, ASIAN PEOPLE.

I MEAN OTHER PEOPLE WHO LEARN

TO EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS LATER IN

LIFE BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS GO TO

LIKE, UH, ASIAN RESTAURANTS

AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE SUCH

A SMUG SELF-SATISFIED LOOK

ON THEIR FACE AS THEY DO IT.

OH, I'LL JUST BE USING

THE CHOPSTICKS.

IT'LL BE JUST CHOPSTICKS FOR ME.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE TRAVELED EXTENSIVELY

THROUGHOUT ASIA.

I'M VERY FAMILIAR WITH YOUR

WAYS; I'LL BE JUST GOING WITH

THE CHOPSTICKS.

I'LL TAKE THE LIBERTY OF

ORDERING FOR OUR PARTY.

WE'LL TAKE THE HOYCHINGCHOW.

I'VE VERY SOPHISTICATED,

I'M A WORLD TRAVELER, I BELIEVE

I MENTIONED THAT EARLIER.

DO YOU THINK THERE IS

AN AMERICAN RESTAURANT SOMEWHERE

IN BEIJING WHERE THE LOCALS GET

TO PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK

FOR EATING WITH SILVERWARE?

[ASIAN ACCENT] I'LL GO WITH

THE FORK...

[LAUGHTER]

I'M A REAL WORLD TRAVELER.

[APPLAUSE]

SPEAKING OF IRRITATING

PRETENTIOUS PEOPLE, THAT SHOW

QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY

HAS BEEN GETTING A LOT OF

RATINGS.

PEOPLE LOVE THAT SHOW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA

FOR A SHOW.

YOU GET FOUR GAY GUYS THAT

TRY AND MAKE A STRAIGHT GUY

GAYER.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR A SHOW,

I LIKE IT.

WE USED TO JUST CALL THAT

BOY SCOUT CAMP BUT NOW THEY HAVE

A WHOLE SHOW.

IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

AND GAY MARRIAGE, OF COURSE, GAY

MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS INTERESTING.

HOW CAN ANYONE CARE ABOUT

GAY MARRIAGE?

WHO CARES IF GAY GUYS

GET MARRIED OR NOT?

I THINK ALL GAY GUYS SHOULD GET

MARRIED.

I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE TO GET

MARRIED.

I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE TO

ADOPT KIDS 'CAUSE ACTUALLY

I'M GETTING TIRED OF THEIR

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY LIFESTYLE.

REALLY, I'VE HAD IT.

I'VE HAD IT WITH THEM BEING ALL

HAPPY AND IN SHAPE AND

EVERYTHING ELSE.

YOU KNOW, I CAN LOOK GOOD IN

DENIM SHORT-SHORTS AND COMBAT

BOOTS, TOO, IF I HAD ALL DAY

TO DO LEG PRESSES AT THE GYM,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

[LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

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