Ben Bailey - New Apartment

CC Presents: Ben Bailey Season 10, Ep 18 04/21/2006 Views: 18,506

Ben has a small new apartment. (1:44)

- Audience: WHEW! - THAT IS FANTASTIC.

- I AM NOT.- Audience Member: WHEW!

I'M IN A ROTTEN MOOD AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

I WOKE UP AT 8 O'CLOCK THIS MORNING FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

NO REASON.

THIS SHOW IS THE FIRST THING THAT I HAD TO DO TODAY.

[LAUGHTER]

WHEN I WOKE UP AT 8 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ANGRY,

I JUST OPENED MY EYESAND THOUGHT "THIS SUCKS.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AWAKE AT 8 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?

AND WHY AM I IN THIS PHONE BOOTH?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO I STOOD UP AND PULLED MYSELF TOGETHER AND CALLED MY WIFE.

AND ASKED HER THAT VERY QUESTION.

AND SHE SAID, "BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

AND THEN SHE HUNG UP ON ME.

SO I WENT BACK TO SLEEP...

- IN MY NEW APARTMENT. - [LAUGHTER]

WHICH IS KIND OF SMALL AND YOU CAN SEE THROUGH THE WALLS.

BUT IT'S GOT A PHONE IN IT, SO THAT'S CONVENIENT.

ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS ALL A BUNCH OF CRAP. NONE OF IT HAPPENED.

[LAUGHTER]

I DID WAKE UP AT 8 O'CLOCK, THOUGH.