Bill Dwyer - Fifteen Wives

  • Season 5 , Ep 11
  • 09/09/2001
  • Views: 1,443

Bill Dwyer can't imagine what it would be like to be one of 15 wives. (2:13)

SO I HAVE ONE WIFE,

I THINK THAT'S THE WAY TO GO.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MULTIPLE

WIVES, YOU THINK, OH,

WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?

I COULDN'T IMAGINE HAVING

EIGHT RABBITS, LET ALONE HAVING

EIGHT WIVES, YOU KNOW.

NOT TO EQUATE THE TWO.

BUT IF YOU HAVE EIGHT WIVES--

YOU KNOW, AFTER ANOTHER

BLAND MEAL--

YOU GOT EIGHT WIVES,

YOU'RE PUTTING A LOT OF CRACKERS

IN THE GROUND BEEF,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

WHO WANTS BULK OATMEAL, LADIES?

AFTER ANOTHER CRAPPY MEAL,

YOU'VE 16 EYES STARRING AT YOU

ACROSS THE DINNER TABLE.

"WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?!

WHAT?!!"

"WE'RE BORED"

"WELL, GO OUT ON FOUR ON FOUR

HALF COURT GAME, HOW ABOUT THAT,

HUH?

AND I'LL HAVE SEX WITH

THE WINNERS, BUT LET ME GET

A NAP IN, ALL RIGHT?

(LAUGHTER)

I READ ABOUT A GUY IN UTAH,

HE HAD 15 WIVES.

15 WIVES.

IMAGINE THE NERVE,

TO LOOK AROUND AT YOUR 14 WIVES

AND THINK TO YOURSELF...

ONE MORE--

THEN I'M DONE SHOPPING.

SURE IT'S GONNA SCREW UP

THE BUNK BEDS, BUT I GOTTA HAVE

15 WIVES.

WHAT ARE YOUR MARRIAGE VOWS,

LIKE TO YOUR FIFTEENTH WIFE?

"I PROMISE TO LOVE HONOR

AND CHERISH YOU, ABOUT TWO DAYS

A MONTH.

ALL RIGHT.

FEBRUARY'S GONNA BE TOUGH

FOR YOU, 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY 15th

WIFE.

DO THE 15 WIVES HAVE CLEVER

NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER,

LIKE 1, AND 2 AND JADES

AND MR. MIXELPIX?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE ONE OF

15 WIVES?

JUST IS IT ALL PILLOW FIGHTS

AND MYSTERY DATES?

I WANNA KNOW.

I GOTTA A SURFER.

I GOTTA DWARF.

SO, YOU WOULD NEVER SEE A WOMAN

WITH 15 HUSBANDS, WOULD YOU?

POOR THING WOULD JUST WAKE UP

EVERY MORNING WITH (BLEEP)'S

IN HER FACE.

(LAUGHTER)

"HEY, FELLAS, PLEASE!

HEY, GENTLEMEN, BACK OFF!

PLEASE, MOVE THE ROOTS.

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

CAN I WATCH?

OH, YEAH, I'LL JUST WATCH.

YEAH, I'LL JUST WATCH.

AHHH!

LET ME GET A SHOWER IN WILL YA,

PLEASE?

CAN I WATCH YOU TAKE A SHOWER?

CAN I WATCH YOU TAKE A SHOWER?

CAN I SLIP THE SOAP THROUGH

THE FRONT OF YOUR LEGS AND

TAKE IT OUT THE BACK?"

"GO TO WORK, YOU IDIOTS."

"15 GUYS PLUMBING."

(CHEER

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