Front Yard Comedy

  • Season 1 , Ep 5
  • 11/21/2013
  • Views: 4,356

Thomas Kellogg asks Adam to give him the opportunity of a lifetime. (2:02)

- WHAT'S UP, ADAM DEVINE?

- MM.- THOMAS, THOMAS KELLOGG.

WHAT'S UP? HEY.- OH.

- LET MEGET ON THE SHOW, BRO.

- AH, YEAH.

- YEAH, YEAH.I GOT A LOT OF JOKES.

- YEAH.- I GOT A JOKE ABOUT MY MOM

AND HOW, LIKE--LIKE,SHE NEVER MAKES DINNER ON TIME.

- MAN, THAT SOUNDS...HOT,BUT WE'RE ALL BOOKED UP,

UNFORTUNATELY, FOR TONIGHT,SO WE DON'T HAVE ANY SLOTS.

- ADAM? HEY.- HEY.

- HAMPTON.- HAMPTON.

- HAM--HAMPTON.- HAM.

- LISTEN, THIS ISTOTALLY A WEIRD QUESTION.

CAN I TRY DOING SOME STAND-UPON YOUR SHOW TONIGHT?

- DO YOU DO STAND-UP?- I TOOK A CLASS.

- WELL, THEN CLOSE OUT THE SHOW,HAMPTON.

- THANK YOU, MAN.- HAM.

HAM.

THIS PARTY NEEDS SOME HAM!

- WHAT THE [bleep], DUDE?

- MM.- I'M GONNA MURDER MYSELF

AT YOUR PARTY.I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF.

I'M GONNA STRING MYSELFUP IN THE FRONT.

- OKAY,LET'S TAKE A KNEE.

ARE YOU GONNA KILL YOURSELF?- I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF.

- YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF?- YEAH, I'M GONNA KILL--

- ARE YOU GONNA KILL YOURSELF?- I'M GONNA KILL MYS--

- ARE YOU GONNA KILL YOURSELF?- I DON'T WANT TO!

- GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA DOFOR YOU...RYAN?

- IT'S THOMAS.- THOMAS, I AM GONNA BLESS YOU.

I'M GONNA BLESS YOU...WITH THE CHANCE OF DOING COMEDY,

LIVE,HERE AT THE PARTY,

BUT IT'S NOTGONNA BE IN THE BACKYARD.

I NEED LAUGHSCOMING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.

RIGHT?SOME FRONT YARD COMEDY.

- I KNOW, I GET IT, YEAH.- YEAH, SOME ROGUE SHIT.

- YEAH!

- ARE YOU GONNA KILL YOURSELF?- NO.

- OKAY,I DID THAT PREEMPTIVELY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAYTHAT YOU WERE.

- I'M NOT GONNA KILL MYSELF.

- OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.- YEAH.

- YEAH, OKAY.

YEAH--DON'T HUG ME.

WELCOME TO THE BIG LEAGUES,MY MAN.

- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.- OKAY.

- SO WHAT'S UP?

- MMM!

WHAT UP,BOOBOO [bleep] BUTT?

HOW MANY ORGASMSDID YOU HAVE EARLIER?

- UH, ZERO ORGASMS.ZERO.

LIKE RIGHT NOW,I'M HAVING ZERO ORGASMS,

SO THANK YOU FOR NOTHING.

- OOH!YOU NASTY, GIRL!

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