Mitch Hedberg - Tripping on Acid

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 01/04/1999
  • Views: 80,396

Because of acid, Mitch Hedberg now knows that butter is way better than margarine. (2:24)

ACID OPENED UP MY MIND.

IT EXPANDED MY MIND.

( cheering )

BECAUSE OF ACID

I NOW KNOW THAT BUTTER ISWAY BETTER THAN MARGARINE.

I SAWTHROUGH THE BULL ( bleep ).

WHEN I WAS ON ACID, I WOULD SEETHINGS LIKE BEAMS OF LIGHT

AND I WOULD HEAR SOUNDSTHAT SOUNDED

AN AWFUL LOT LIKE CAR HORNS.

( laughs )

WHEN WE WERE ON ACID,WE WOULD GO INTO THE WOODS

'CAUSE, WHEN YOU'REIN THE WOODS TRIPPING

THERE'S LESS LIKELY A CHANCE

YOU'D RUNINTO AN AUTHORITY FIGURE

BUT WE RAN INTO A BEAR.

THAT WAS EVEN MORE OF BUZZ KILL.

MY FRIEND DWAYNEWAS STANDING THERE

RAISING HIS RIGHT HAND, SWEARINGTO HELP PREVENT FOREST FIRES.

( laughter and applause )

WE GOT HIM AWAY FROM THE BEAR.

HE PUT HIS ARMAROUND MY SHOULDER.

HE SAID, "MITCHELL, SMOKEY ISWAY MORE INTENSE IN PERSON."

I WENT TO ENGLAND TO TELL JOKES

AND I WANTED TO DO MYSMOKEY THE BEAR JOKE IN ENGLAND

SO I HAD TO ASKTHE ENGLISH PEOPLE

IF THEY KNOW WHO SMOKEY THE BEARWAS, BUT THEY DON'T

BECAUSE IN ENGLANDSMOKEY THE BEAR IS NOT

THE FOREST FIRE PREVENTIONREPRESENTATIVE.

THEY HAVE SMACKY THE FROG.

( laughter )

IT'S A LOT LIKE A BEAR,BUT IT'S A FROG

AND I THINKTHAT'S A BETTER SYSTEM.

I THINK WE SHOULD ADOPT ITBECAUSE BEARS CAN BE MEAN...

BUT FROGS ARE ALWAYS COOL.

NEVER HAS THERE BEEN A FROGHOPPING TOWARD ME

AND I THOUGHT,"MAN, I'D BETTER PLAY DEAD.

HERE COMES THAT FROG."

I'VE NEVER SAID,"HERE COMES THAT FROG"

IN A HORRIFYING MANNER.

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE OPTIMISTIC.

LIKE, "HEY,HERE COMES THAT FROG.

"ALL RIGHT.

"MAYBE HE WILL SETTLE NEAR ME...

"AND I CAN PET HIM...

"AND PUT HIM IN A MAYONNAISE JAR

"WITH A STICK AND A LEAF...

TO RECREATE WHAT HE'S USED TO."

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