This thug was, like,"Yo, man, you are ( bleep )!"
And I was, like,"Whoa, excuse me, Ditron. Um...
"I didn't have time to matchmy lime-green Timberland boots
"to my lime-green baseball cap.
Who took 20 minutesgetting ready this morning?"
Felt so freeing.
I told him, man,and then I ran and I ran...
Then he caught me,and he beat the crap out of me,
and I cried like a little girl.
Ditron's a nice guy though.
I get a lot of gufffrom thugs, you know?
I think it's becauseI use the word "guff."
If I didn't use that word,I'd be all right.
I even get it from,like, the little thugs.
Like, the thug larvae, you know?
With the long white T-shirtsthat, like, billow in the wind.
Like little urban schooners,you know?
Like, I was in my neighborhood.
I live in a black neighborhood.
So it's, like,reverse gentrification.
It's just gentrification, but...
They came up to me.
They're, like, "Hey, mate,you look like Lenny Kravitz.
Yeah! Lenny Kravitz!What? Yeah!"
And I was, like,
what kind of a putdown is that?
That would be like me saying to him, "Hey, man,
"you look like George Clooneywith your square jaw
and charm women can't resist."Yeah.
Why aren't you crying, son?What?
So I told themthe error of their ways.
And I ran and I ran.