John McKeever - Australian Guys

Marriage Material Season 2, Ep 7 10/17/2014 Views: 4,762

After an honest conversation with his wife, John McKeever comes to terms with the fact that he will never be as attractive as a rugged Australian man. (1:23)

I, UH, JUST FOUND OUT MY WIFELIKES AUSTRALIAN GUYS.

UH, WHICH I'M NOT,SO IT'S BEEN A BIT OF A HURDLE.

WE WERE HAVINGTHIS HONEST CONVERSATION.

I WAS LIKE, "LISTEN, WE'RE GONNABE ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE ATTRACTEDTO OTHER PEOPLE.

"I'M GONNA WANTTO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYBODY,

"SO LET'S JUST CHITCHATABOUT IT.

"AND YOU GO FIRST...

'CAUSE MY LIST IS, LIKE,SUPER LONG."

AND RIGHT AWAY SHE'S GOES,"OKAY, I LOVE RUGGED GUYS,

AND I LOVETHE AUSTRALIAN ACCENT."

I WAS LIKE,"ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT EASY. STOP.

THIS IS MORE OF AN ORIENTATION.I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE"--

AND THAT SUCKS FOR ME, BECAUSE,LIKE, NOBODY THINKS I'M RUGGED.

NOBODY LOOKS AT ME AND THINKS,LIKE, "THAT GUY'S RUGGED."

I THINK PEOPLE LOOK AT ME, LIKE,

"HEY, THAT BUILD-A-BEARIS DRUNK."

BUT THE AUSTRALIAN THINGI NEVER CARED ABOUT,

AND THEN ONE NIGHT WE METTHIS GUY FROM NEW ZEALAND.

AND IF YOU GUYS AREN'T FAMILIARWITH NEW ZEALAND,

IT'S AUSTRALIA.

BUT WE MET THIS GUY.HE SOUNDED AUSTRALIAN.

HE WAS, LIKE, 6'2",HE WAS SO RUGGED.

I START GETTIN' DRUNK,AND I'M LIKE, "SCREW THIS GUY.

HE'S JUST SEXY'CAUSE HE HAS AN ACCENT."

TURNS OUT, HE WAS SEXY.

'CAUSE IF I HAD THE ACCENT,IT WOULDN'T MATTER,

I'D STILL BE 5'8"WITH SMALL HANDS,

NOBODY WOULD GIVE A SHIT.

I'D STILL SAYTHE SAME LOSER STUFF.

EVEN IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN,I'D STILL BE LIKE...

[Australian accent] "HEY, BABY,I'VE EATEN ALL THE CHEESE

"IN THE FRIDGE, SO, UH...

"YOU MIGHT WANT TO SLEEPIN THE GUEST ROOM TONIGHT.

"IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY BAD.

LOT OF CHEESE FARTS."