What Scientologist Actually Believe
South Park
Season 9 E 12 • 11/16/2005

The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.

Watching

Highlight
05:32

Thinking Out Loud - Demi Lovato's "Aliens" Remark
The Daily Show with Trevor NoahS27 E11

Demi Lovato argues that referring to extraterrestrials as "aliens" is insensitive and derogatory, and Trevor reflects on the limited power of changing labels assigned to marginalized groups.
10/14/2021
Highlight
01:45

Mars Rover Looks for Life
The Daily Show with Trevor NoahS26 E61

The NASA rover Perseverance makes history by touching down on Mars to search for signs of ancient life on the planet.
02/18/2021
Highlight
05:38

Keeping Up with Coronavirus - Second Wave Scares & Trump's Bizarre Doctor Endorsement
The Daily Show with Trevor NoahS25 E133

Many countries face a second COVID-19 wave, partying Americans refuse to take the pandemic seriously, and President Trump trusts a doctor who believes vaccines are made from alien DNA.
07/28/2020
01:31

Your True Name is Gok-zarah
South ParkS14 E13

An ancient visitor sheds some light on our superhero's true identity.
11/10/2010
01:36

You Crazy Bastard!
South ParkS14 E13

The Coon Friends are trapped in another dimension and Mysterion tries to find a way out.
11/10/2010
01:27

Cute Kitty
South ParkS14 E13

The Dark Lord is agitated and the Coon calms him down.
11/10/2010
01:21

3000 Years of Darkness
South ParkS14 E11

The "Friends" head to the gulf to stop the latest DP disaster.
10/27/2010
00:50

Drilling Into Another Dimension
South ParkS14 E11

DP apologizes again for their drilling errors.
10/27/2010
01:29

Find the Wizard Alien
South ParkS14 E1

The S.W.A.T. team descends on Independence Hall as the search for the alien heats up.
03/17/2010
01:38

The Only Explanation
South ParkS14 E1

The scientists voice their concerns about an epidemic to President Obama.
03/17/2010
01:37

In Persuit of Baby Fark McGee-zax
South ParkS13 E6

The Intergalactic Police search for a fugitive alien.
04/15/2009
02:41

First Contact
South ParkS13 E6

South Park has it's first official encounter with alien life.
04/15/2009
01:18

This Is Only The Beginning
South ParkS12 E10

The Head of Homeland Security isn't exactly who he seems to be.
10/22/2008
00:28

M-60 For Jesus
South ParkS11 E12

Butters floats through the battle helping out the good characters.
10/31/2007
01:26

Retreat to the Gum Drop Forest
South ParkS11 E11

Butters awakes from a dream and realizes he is still in Imaginationland and it's being attacked.
10/24/2007
02:59

What Scientologist Actually Believe
South ParkS9 E12

The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.
11/16/2005
01:03

A Gooback Lands
South ParkS8 E7

A strange being arrives in a flash of light and emerges from a sphere. He attempts to cross the highway and is run over by a car.
04/28/2004
00:42

All New Earth!
South ParkS7 E1

The boys begin another repeat day on Earth. Kenny shows the Polaroid of the Jozians and Chef advises them to hang on to it.
03/19/2003
01:15

Hekma Bar
South ParkS7 E1

The boys try to discus their situation with the Network Heads over lunch. The Heads are more into going to a strip club, doing drugs, and getting a hooker.
03/19/2003
00:51

The Joozians
South ParkS7 E1

The boys meet with the Network Heads and begin to make their plea. The Heads are more interested in figuring out where to do Haglar.
03/19/2003
00:43

Chaos Theory
South ParkS7 E1

The aliens start to demolish Earth. Jeff goes on a stream-of-consciousness rant that leads him to figure out that Earth is being cancelled.
03/19/2003
01:12

Earth! Cancelled
South ParkS7 E1

The boys find out "Earth!" has been cancelled, and need to convince the network heads to keep it on the air to save their planet.
03/19/2003
01:24

We're All Famous
South ParkS7 E1

At a major convention, Jeff reveals that Earth is simply an alien reality show. The scientific community is thrilled with their newly discovered fame.
03/19/2003
01:29

In Outer Space Again
South ParkS7 E1

The boys wake up inside alien pods in outer space. An alien comes to talk to them and tries to transform itself into something appealing to the boys.
03/19/2003
02:06

Chased By Aliens
South ParkS7 E1

The Aliens chase after Chef and the boys. Just when Chef thinks they're in the clear, the aliens abduct the boys.
03/19/2003
02:37

Farting On Kyle
South ParkS7 E1

Chef takes the boys to see a scientist, and after Kyle gets farted on several times, the satellite dish comes out of Cartman's ass.
03/19/2003
01:49

That's No Hemorrhoid
South ParkS7 E1

Cartman is taken to a proctologist. The doctor looks around and all he can find is an alien satellite dish that projects from Cartman's rectum.
03/19/2003
01:45

Joozian Three Way
South ParkS7 E1

Kenny takes a Polaroid of the Network Heads sucking each other's jaggons. The boys use this as blackmail to save "Earth!"
03/19/2003
02:58

Ice Cream Crapping Taco
South ParkS7 E1

The head alien (in the form of a taco, that craps ice cream) explains to the boys that Earth is really a reality television show.
03/19/2003
02:05

D j Vu
South ParkS7 E1

At the bus stop, Cartman tells the boys about a possible alien abduction. Further facts and events make the boys realize that they are beginning a day they've already lived.
03/19/2003
01:56

He's 22
South ParkS3 E7

Shelley's older boyfriend shows up at the Cartman house and gives Eric a turd wedgie. Kitty gets aroused by Wild Animal World.
07/14/1999
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