The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

We Fix Everything

Season 3 • 05/11/1999

Without guns, we would soon fall prey to iron hoofs and oversized floppy ears.

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Watching

00:35

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Recap - 5/11/99

Jon Stewart recaps today's stories and previews tomorrow's show.
05/11/1999
00:56

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
This Just In - The Organ Trail

In Pennsylvania, you can get yourself one of those fancy funerals for $300; you know, the kind with no flowers or coffin.
05/11/1999
04:09

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
A Little Too Friendly

Tannersville, PA, was always regarded as the friendliest village in the state until "Friendly's" came to town.
05/11/1999
04:15

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Paula Cale

Actress Paula Cale wonders why what happened with Monica Lewinsky didn't happen to her when she was a White House intern.
05/11/1999
00:17

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Item of the Week - Piercing

What's genocide?
05/11/1999
01:08

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Headlines - Free at Lust

Amy Fisher was paroled from jail yesterday, so ladies with a thick-necked auto-working husband, watch out.
05/11/1999
01:14

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Headlines - Rin Tin Tin

Sony announces plans to release a robotic pet dog for those yearning to own a pet who can't express love.
05/11/1999
00:11

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Moment of Zen - Crucified

Women are crucified.
05/11/1999
00:43

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Other News - Dredging the Liverpool

The surviving members of The Beatles plan a release of a new song.
05/11/1999
00:30

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Blue Foam Balls

Jon Stewart previews today's show and promises if someone is good, they'll get one of his blue foam balls.
05/11/1999
02:04

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
We Fix Everything

Without guns, we would soon fall prey to the evil machinations of deer and rabbit. They're out there, nibbling ever closer.
05/11/1999
02:05

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Back in Black - Never Be a Saint

Lewis Black will never be a saint, but at least he's figured out how to get on Saturday Night Live.
05/11/1999
01:32

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
This Just In - Copping a Feel

An illegal strip search of a suspect in a crime results in a federal judge awarding a $5 million settlement to the victim.
05/12/1999
00:15

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Moment of Zen - Yeltsin

Boris Yeltsin delivers a presumably drunk speech.
05/12/1999
00:44

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Recap - 5/13/99

A recap of today's top stories and a preview of tomorrow's show, including Star Wars coverage.
05/12/1999
02:20

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Public Excess - Killing Us Softly

A collection of some of the most horrific performers that public access television has to offer.
05/12/1999
04:16

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Lobsterman

A 300 pound spandex-clad wrestler throws his claw into the presidential campaign ring.
05/12/1999
04:43

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Ted Danson

Ted Danson and his wife are highly competitive, which makes meditating together very difficult.
05/12/1999
01:54

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Headlines - Rebel Yeltsin

Boris Yeltsin emerges from his vodka fog to fire his prime minister for the fourth time.
05/12/1999
02:02

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Headlines - Death Certificate

The residents of Beverly Hills are forced to wear fur as they are confronted by temperatures as low as 60 degrees.
05/12/1999
01:03

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Other News - Pushing the Envelopes

J.D. Salinger's ex-lover wants her children to go to college, meet a reclusive author, nail him and then cash in on the relationship later.
05/12/1999
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