The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

We Fix Everything

Season 3 • 05/11/1999

Without guns, we would soon fall prey to iron hoofs and oversized floppy ears.

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00:35

Recap - 5/11/99
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Jon Stewart recaps today's stories and previews tomorrow's show.
05/11/1999
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00:56

This Just In - The Organ Trail
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

In Pennsylvania, you can get yourself one of those fancy funerals for $300; you know, the kind with no flowers or coffin.
05/11/1999
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04:09

A Little Too Friendly
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Tannersville, PA, was always regarded as the friendliest village in the state until "Friendly's" came to town.
05/11/1999
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04:15

Paula Cale
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Actress Paula Cale wonders why what happened with Monica Lewinsky didn't happen to her when she was a White House intern.
05/11/1999
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00:17

Item of the Week - Piercing
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

What's genocide?
05/11/1999
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01:08

Headlines - Free at Lust
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Amy Fisher was paroled from jail yesterday, so ladies with a thick-necked auto-working husband, watch out.
05/11/1999
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01:14

Headlines - Rin Tin Tin
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Sony announces plans to release a robotic pet dog for those yearning to own a pet who can't express love.
05/11/1999
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00:11

Moment of Zen - Crucified
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Women are crucified.
05/11/1999
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00:43

Other News - Dredging the Liverpool
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

The surviving members of The Beatles plan a release of a new song.
05/11/1999
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00:30

Blue Foam Balls
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Jon Stewart previews today's show and promises if someone is good, they'll get one of his blue foam balls.
05/11/1999
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02:04

We Fix Everything
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Without guns, we would soon fall prey to the evil machinations of deer and rabbit. They're out there, nibbling ever closer.
05/11/1999
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02:05

Back in Black - Never Be a Saint
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Lewis Black will never be a saint, but at least he's figured out how to get on Saturday Night Live.
05/11/1999
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01:32

This Just In - Copping a Feel
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

An illegal strip search of a suspect in a crime results in a federal judge awarding a $5 million settlement to the victim.
05/12/1999
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00:15

Moment of Zen - Yeltsin
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Boris Yeltsin delivers a presumably drunk speech.
05/12/1999
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00:44

Recap - 5/13/99
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

A recap of today's top stories and a preview of tomorrow's show, including Star Wars coverage.
05/12/1999
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02:20

Public Excess - Killing Us Softly
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

A collection of some of the most horrific performers that public access television has to offer.
05/12/1999
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04:16

Lobsterman
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

A 300 pound spandex-clad wrestler throws his claw into the presidential campaign ring.
05/12/1999
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04:43

Ted Danson
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Ted Danson and his wife are highly competitive, which makes meditating together very difficult.
05/12/1999
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01:54

Headlines - Rebel Yeltsin
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

Boris Yeltsin emerges from his vodka fog to fire his prime minister for the fourth time.
05/12/1999
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02:02

Headlines - Death Certificate
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

The residents of Beverly Hills are forced to wear fur as they are confronted by temperatures as low as 60 degrees.
05/12/1999
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01:03

Other News - Pushing the Envelopes
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3

J.D. Salinger's ex-lover wants her children to go to college, meet a reclusive author, nail him and then cash in on the relationship later.
05/12/1999
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