The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
New Jersey Primary
Season 8 • 06/08/2004
Dennis Kucinich supporters and their vegan parties make Samantha Bee want to kill herself.
Moment of Zen - Don't Think About BoobiesThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
President George W. Bush tries to look interested while listening to Pope John Paul II.
Donna BrazileThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Donna Brazile felt that busing and school integration was a bad idea, because she couldn't run home if she got sick.
Tape WormsThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
The Enron executives are greedy mother arbitragers.
Pump'dThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries will bolster their output of crude oil to 2 million barrels a day, enough to power a Hummer from St. Louis to Springfield.
Holy SitThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
The Pope is usually a dick when he meets someone, but was cordial to George W. Bush.
Moment of Zen - No DisrespectThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Bill Parcells does not mean to disrespect the "orientals."
Indecision 2004 - Thumbs Up To You TooThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
While President George W. Bush gives a eulogy for Ronald Reagan, John Kerry is going to catch up on some office work.
Mess O'Potamia - Congratulations on Your New GovernmentThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
New Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi will find that there's no better way to get acquainted with a country than by running it.
David BrooksThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
David Brooks states that only a country as idealistic as the United States would try to bring democracy to Iraq -- and only a country as naive as us would do it so badly.
What Would Ronald Think?The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Newt Gingrich believes that Ronald Reagan would approve of President George W. Bush's actions in Iraq.
New Jersey PrimaryThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
All the Kucinich organization needs to do to win the New Jersey primary is to convince fellow Democrats to change their numerical system.
Moment of Zen - Joe Biden's LectureThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Joe Biden angrily lectures John Ashcroft about the importance of following torture treaties.
8 Simple RulersThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
The G8 summit is held on an isolated island off the coast of Georgia, so it won't be plagued by protests.
Morgan SpurlockThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Morgan Spurlock describes his chest pains and heart palpitations from eating McDonald's everyday.
G8 SummitThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Stephen Colbert explains that they're considering holding next year's G8 summit somewhere safer and more remote, like the Fortress of Solitude.
Finding MemoThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
John Ashcroft doesn't think torture is productive or justified -- confidential memos written by his department, notwithstanding.
Back in Black - Big WinnersThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Lewis Black performed on Broadway this year and he still doesn't give a sh*t about the Tony Awards.
Headlines - 8 Simple RulersThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Unfortunately, when Jon sees the leaders of the world's most powerful countries all he can hear is "It's Raining Men."
Reagan RememberedThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Who can forget President McKinley's brigade of black faced minstrels singing "We sho' is sad da President was shot"?
Jennifer Love HewittThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS8
Jon is curious to know why Garfield, which was popular during the eighties, is being made into a movie now.
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