The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

New Jersey Primary

Season 8 • 06/08/2004

Dennis Kucinich supporters and their vegan parties make Samantha Bee want to kill herself.

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00:11

Moment of Zen - Don't Think About Boobies
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

President George W. Bush tries to look interested while listening to Pope John Paul II.
06/07/2004
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06:03

Donna Brazile
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Donna Brazile felt that busing and school integration was a bad idea, because she couldn't run home if she got sick.
06/07/2004
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04:03

Tape Worms
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Enron executives are greedy mother arbitragers.
06/07/2004
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03:22

Pump'd
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries will bolster their output of crude oil to 2 million barrels a day, enough to power a Hummer from St. Louis to Springfield.
06/07/2004
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02:48

Holy Sit
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Pope is usually a dick when he meets someone, but was cordial to George W. Bush.
06/07/2004
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00:23

Moment of Zen - No Disrespect
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Bill Parcells does not mean to disrespect the "orientals."
06/08/2004
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02:51

Indecision 2004 - Thumbs Up To You Too
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

While President George W. Bush gives a eulogy for Ronald Reagan, John Kerry is going to catch up on some office work.
06/08/2004
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02:24

Mess O'Potamia - Congratulations on Your New Government
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

New Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi will find that there's no better way to get acquainted with a country than by running it.
06/08/2004
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07:06

David Brooks
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

David Brooks states that only a country as idealistic as the United States would try to bring democracy to Iraq -- and only a country as naive as us would do it so badly.
06/08/2004
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01:33

What Would Ronald Think?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Newt Gingrich believes that Ronald Reagan would approve of President George W. Bush's actions in Iraq.
06/08/2004
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04:28

New Jersey Primary
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

All the Kucinich organization needs to do to win the New Jersey primary is to convince fellow Democrats to change their numerical system.
06/08/2004
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00:16

Moment of Zen - Joe Biden's Lecture
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Joe Biden angrily lectures John Ashcroft about the importance of following torture treaties.
06/09/2004
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02:31

8 Simple Rulers
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The G8 summit is held on an isolated island off the coast of Georgia, so it won't be plagued by protests.
06/09/2004
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06:26

Morgan Spurlock
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Morgan Spurlock describes his chest pains and heart palpitations from eating McDonald's everyday.
06/09/2004
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02:39

G8 Summit
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Stephen Colbert explains that they're considering holding next year's G8 summit somewhere safer and more remote, like the Fortress of Solitude.
06/09/2004
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06:29

Finding Memo
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

John Ashcroft doesn't think torture is productive or justified -- confidential memos written by his department, notwithstanding.
06/09/2004
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04:51

Back in Black - Big Winners
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Lewis Black performed on Broadway this year and he still doesn't give a sh*t about the Tony Awards.
06/10/2004
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04:19

Headlines - 8 Simple Rulers
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Unfortunately, when Jon sees the leaders of the world's most powerful countries all he can hear is "It's Raining Men."
06/10/2004
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04:01

Reagan Remembered
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Who can forget President McKinley's brigade of black faced minstrels singing "We sho' is sad da President was shot"?
06/10/2004
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05:18

Jennifer Love Hewitt
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon is curious to know why Garfield, which was popular during the eighties, is being made into a movie now.
06/10/2004
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00:11

Moment of Zen - We Be Back in Charge
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

LL Cool J raps with Carol Channing at the Tony Awards.
06/10/2004
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