The Colbert Report

Christmas Presents

Season 3 • 06/26/2007

The Mexican government is upset about the Christmas present that the U.S. gave it.

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06:10

Tom Hayden
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Tom Hayden, author of "Ending the War in Iraq," was one of the Chicago Seven. He's about to meet all of the Colbert One.
06/25/2007
04:15

The Word - Fourth Branch
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Dick Cheney is our shadow leader and he can stick his papers where the sun don't shine.
06/25/2007
00:12

Sign Off - Contract
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Even if you didn't like tonight's show, Stephen will still see you tomorrow.
06/25/2007
04:16

The Word - Elsewhere
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The Bush administration is thinking of closing the prison at Guantanamo Bay and moving it elsewhere. Stephen figures they'll move it to Mars, and he knows exactly why.
06/26/2007
02:18

Christmas in June
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It's June 26, 2007, and Stephen is ringing in the yuletide spirit early by combining his tree-lighting ceremony with the 4th of July.
06/26/2007
01:55

Tony Blair's Conversion
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Prime Minister Tony Blair may be converting to Catholicism, according to a priest who heard it from a bishop who heard it from a cardinal who read it in the British tabloids.
06/26/2007
00:09

Sign Off - Visions of Sugarplums
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen signs off, hoping that visions of sugarplums dance in your heads -- for six months.
06/26/2007
01:54

Alpha Dog of the Week - Fred Thompson
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Fred Thompson's ex-girlfriends are lining up to endorse him, so Stephen is rewarding the potential presidential candidate's ability to do it Alpha-Doggie style.
06/26/2007
00:29

Intro - 6/26/07
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Tonight: Ton Blair meets with the Pope, the Administration considers closing Gitmo, and guest David France tells Stephen that gaydar is real.
06/26/2007
06:29

David France
The Colbert ReportS3

David France tells Stephen about the science that further supports the theory that homosexuality is genetic, but must admit that not all the science has been scienced.
06/26/2007
01:12

Christmas Presents
The Colbert ReportS3

The Mexican government is upset that the U.S. government built a fence on its side of the border. Stephen assures them it was a Christmas present.
06/26/2007
02:08

Give Stephen an iPhone
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen was outraged to find out that three major newspapers received iPhones before he did, so he reviewed an imaginary one and gave it zero stars.
06/27/2007
06:09

Tom Blanton
The Colbert ReportS3

Professional tattle-tale Tom Blanton explains to Stephen why the Freedom of Information Act is so important and what freedom is all about.
06/27/2007
05:54

Daniel Gilbert
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Daniel Gilbert talks about his new book and tells Stephen that money doesn't buy happiness, kids are a pain in the ass and marriage and religion will make you happy.
06/27/2007
05:28

Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - Shaq
The Colbert ReportS3

Shaquille O'Neal sells-out fast-food marketing, Sinead O'Connor still hates Jesus, Harry Potter spoilers aren't so bad and the Transformers movie is not trustworthy.
06/27/2007
00:30

Intro - 6/27/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tells the CIA how to get blood out of their clothing, tries to figure out the secrets of Harry Potter's tricks and makes author Daniel Gilbert unhappy.
06/27/2007
00:16

Sign Off - Going on Vacation
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's going on vacation for two weeks, but don't get too depressed -- think of the reruns as me-runs.
06/28/2007
04:44

Colbert Platinum - Luxury Car Wrecks
The Colbert ReportS3

All right, billionaires, put down your diamond-encrusted diamond encruster and tune into the latest edition of Colbert Platinum.
06/28/2007
02:59

Civil Unrest in Iran
The Colbert ReportS3

The Iranian government began rationing gas to its citizens, causing long lines and riots. This is fantastic news -- Iran today is like America in the 1970s.
06/28/2007
00:34

Intro - 6/28/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight: A Republican senator turns against the war, a segment for high-income viewers, and Stephen shows guest Doug Bailey his centrist finger.
06/28/2007
05:28

Doug Bailey
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Doug Bailey's Unity '08 party is trying to draft candidates by popular demand, including Michael Bloomberg, Tom Brokaw, and Stephen.
06/28/2007
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