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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Arianna Huffington
Season 2 • 03/01/2006
Arianna Huffington's touch burns Stephen.
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Watching
02:00
Confess Your Sins to Stephen
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen knows he's not a religious leader, but he does have a TV show.
02/27/2006
07:14
Brett O'Donnell
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen asks what Brett O'Donnell thinks of the debate between Job and God.
02/28/2006
03:37
Who's Attacking Me Now? - Anderson Cooper
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen thinks Anderson Cooper is attacking him, but he can't be sure, because he's not pointing and shouting in his direction.
02/28/2006
00:33
Intro - 2/28/06
The Colbert Report
S2
Mardi Gras is the Super Bowl of open-air drinking, other than the Super Bowl.
02/28/2006
03:33
The Word - Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!
The Colbert Report
S2
Through the sheer power of alcohol and bare breasts, the Deep South has risen again.
02/28/2006
04:48
Tip/Wag - Wheeled Transportation
The Colbert Report
S2
Until wheels get their act together, the president should travel by hot air balloon or dirigible.
02/28/2006
00:33
Intro - 3/1/06
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen is going to celebrate Benjamin Franklin's birthday by flying a kite into some power lines.
03/01/2006
02:37
Better Know a District - California's 50th
The Colbert Report
S2
Randy "Duke" Cunningham isn't dead to Stephen, California's 50th district is.
03/01/2006
04:54
The Word - Faith
The Colbert Report
S2
There will be great temptation for President Bush to admit that he made a mistake, but our commander in chief is strong. He will pass the test.
03/01/2006
05:56
Better Know a Founder - Benjamin Franklin
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen and Ben Franklin talk about their inventions and who died of syphilis.
03/01/2006
06:19
Arianna Huffington
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen wants to know why Arianna Huffington hates black people.
03/01/2006
01:59
Sign Off - End of an Era
The Colbert Report
S2
The social outcasts of today's junior high schools are relieved of the agony of human contact.
03/02/2006
00:33
Intro - 3/2/06
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen investigates humans playing God, predicts Oscar winners and interviews economist Jeffrey Sachs.
03/02/2006
02:51
The Word - Homo Sapien Agenda
The Colbert Report
S2
The only reason Stephen could imagine being gay is to have all the sex you want without ladies and their emotional outbursts.
03/02/2006
07:02
Jeffrey Sachs
The Colbert Report
S2
Jeffrey Sachs explains that giving a little aid to impoverished countries is the least that Americans can do.
03/02/2006
04:13
The DaColbert Code - The Oscars
The Colbert Report
S2
Using the DaColbert Code, Stephen discovers who killed John F. Kennedy, who's to blame for the slow response to Hurricane Katrina and who will win this year's Academy Awards.
03/02/2006
05:31
ThreatDown - Non-Blondes
The Colbert Report
S2
We need to maintain the purity of the blonde race with a massive selective breeding program.
03/06/2006
01:00
Never Say Die
The Colbert Report
S2
A positive story out of Iraq -- if you replace the words "basketball" with "Iraq" and "cheerleader with indomitable spirit" with "President George W. Bush."
03/06/2006
05:53
Bob Schieffer
The Colbert Report
S2
Bob Schieffer has good ratings for his morning show because most of his elderly viewers died in the night and left the television on.
03/06/2006
01:00
Hollywood Decontamination
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen wants Jon Stewart to quickly return from Hollywood so that he can be "de-Clooneyed."
03/06/2006
00:11
Sign Off - Narnia
The Colbert Report
S2
Stephen Colbert hears that Narnia is very popular with children.
03/06/2006
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