The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 01/19/2006
NPR's Legal Affairs Correspondent Nina Totenberg helps Stephen with his pledge drive.
The Word - SmartererThe Colbert ReportS2
You don't need a lot of knowledge if you put a lot of anger behind those few things you do know.
Frank McCourtThe Colbert ReportS2
Training German Shepherds in Germany prepared Frank McCourt to teach high school.
Intro - 1/18/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen questions whether American kids are falling behind, wonders if it's too late to pump Socrates' stomach, and gives bullying a wedgie of his analysis.
Bring 'Em Back or Leave 'Em Dead - Teacher's EditionThe Colbert ReportS2
The only two miracle workers of our time have been John Paul II and Nature's Miracle stain remover.
Sign Off - The Bully SystemThe Colbert ReportS2
The bully system teaches leadership skills to our dumb kids, while encouraging our nerdy kids to get smarter.
The Word - Public-SeeThe Colbert ReportS2
We could put an end to stone-throwing if we all lived in glass houses.
Better Know a District - New York's 17th - Eliot EngelThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen isn't allowed to stroke Eliot Engel's moustache, but he can comb it.
Who's Attacking Me Now? - Humane SocietyThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen is being attacked for educating children about the need for bear hunts.
Intro - 1/19/06The Colbert ReportS2
The government has been monitoring your calls, and they agree that your boyfriend is a tool.
Nina TotenbergThe Colbert ReportS2
If you pledge $1,000 to The Colbert Report, Nina Totenberg will come to your shower in a plush terry cloth robe.
The Word - Charlie DanielsThe Colbert ReportS2
Osama bin Laden's most recent tape has Star Jones promoting a deal with the devil.
Intro - 1/23/06The Colbert ReportS2
NASCAR fans will be glad to hear that unleaded gasoline is extremely flammable.
David GregoryThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen hits a nerve by comparing David Gregory to Major Garrett.
Oprah's Book ClubThe Colbert ReportS2
A new translation of Elie Wiesel's "Night" has Stephen wondering if it should be categorized as a memoir or a novel.
Dr. LoveThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen feels responsible for the fact that couples with televisions in their bedrooms have less sex, so he tries to help out.
ThreatDown - HamasThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen puts Hamas on notice for being in league with America's real #1 threat.
The Word - ChernobylThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen takes a look at the bright side of Chernobyl and Hurricane Katrina.
The In-Box - DVDsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen uses his own in-box to remind himself to return some DVDs.
Formidable Opponent - SuperpowersThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen Colbert takes on himself in a battle of privacy vs. wiretapping, complete with heat vision and force fields.
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