The Colbert Report
Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton
Season 5 • 11/11/2009
The San Francisco Chronicle starts printing on glossy paper, and George Clinton wins in court.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/10/09
The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
The Colbert ReportS5 Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
The Colbert ReportS5 Maria Shriver
Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
The Colbert ReportS5 Iraniversary - Karim Sadjadpour
Karim Sadjadpour describes Iranian math superstar Mahmoud Vahidnia's unprecedented act of challenging Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell
The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Christopher Caldwell
Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Grover the Hill
America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
The Colbert ReportS5 Goldman Sachs Does God's Work
Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton
The San Francisco Chronicle prints on glossy paper, and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules in favor of George Clinton.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Claims Lou Dobbs' Audience
In punditry, like in "Highlander," there can be only one Lou Dobbs, so Stephen claims his audience after Dobbs quits CNN.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen Shaves Woody's Head
Stephen shaves Woody Harrelson's head while they both sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/12/09
Stephen discusses the national ammunition shortage and talks to Woody Harrelson about his military movie.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - The Money Shot
If we want to save the U.S. dollar, we should peg it to America's most precious metal of all: lead.
The Colbert ReportS5 Miracle Whip Buys Ad Space
Stephen is going to buy more delicious mayonnaise with the money from Miracle Whip's advertising.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Cricket Scandal & Letter-Writing Campaign
A cricket coach encourages his players to have sex before matches, and Stephen starts his Canadian "Don't Be an Ice-Hole" letter-writing campaign.
The Colbert ReportS5 Woody Harrelson
Woody Harrelson shows his support for the troops by allowing Stephen to shave his head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alpha Dog of the Week - Joe Perry
Joe Perry has always been the face of Aerosmith -- you just might not know it because his hair is often in the way.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/16/09
Aerosmith breaks up to pursue separate nursing homes, and Paul Goldberger discusses Stephen's favorite architect, Mike Brady.
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