The Colbert Report
We Have a Death Star!
Season 5 • 06/03/2009
California scientists unveil a Death Star.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Cheerios, Soda Paralysis & Oprah's Crazy Talk
Cheerios marketing receives FDA scrutiny, soda drinkers face paralysis, and Oprah endorses dubious health advice.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/2/09
The FDA challenges medical claims made by Cheerios, and Jim Moran protects kids from erectile dysfunction advertising.
The Colbert ReportS5 Jim Moran vs. Viagra
Jim Moran introduces a bill that will ban erectile dysfunction ads from running during the day.
The Colbert ReportS5 Katty Kay
Katty Kay explains the significant value of women in the workplace, even though they work in different ways than men.
The Colbert ReportS5 Best Audience of the Night
This was Stephen's best audience of the night.
The Colbert ReportS5 Eric Schlosser - "Food, Inc."
Eric Schlosser, co-producer of the documentary film "Food, Inc.," talks about the link between the rise of factory farms in the U.S. and the heightened risk of foodborne illnesses.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - I Do, You Don't
All marriages shouldn't be equal, but there should be so many separate kinds of marriage that the gays don't feel singled out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/3/09
California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson & GM
Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson stands up against big government, and GM fires its robots.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - "The Hollow Men"
This is the way the show ends Not with a bang but a whimper.
The Colbert ReportS5 We Have a Death Star!
Now that America has a Death Star, Stephen works on his telekinetic choking abilities.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/4/09
Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Just Don't Do It
Teens, sex is as natural as the birds and the bees because you will be stung to death and have your eyes violently pecked out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Wikipedia Bans Scientologists
Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
The Colbert ReportS5 Dag Soderberg
Dag Soderberg takes the Bible out of the bookshop and onto the coffee table with "Bible Illuminated."
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - External Lungs
External lungs increase office productivity by allowing employees to send them outside for a smoke break.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf - Iraq Announcement
The Colbert Report will present a week of shows from Iraq starting Monday -- let this national secret slip every chance you get.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Gets His Hair Cut
General Raymond Odierno offered to shave Stephen's head, but Stephen wasn't taking a mere suggestion from a mere general. Good thing the Commander-in-Chief was on hand to give the order.
The Colbert ReportS5 Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCain
Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1
Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
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