The Colbert Report

John Kerry

Season 3 • 04/16/2007

John Kerry changes his mind about the environment.

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06:40

A Girl for Stephen Jr.
The Colbert ReportS3

Tad the Building Manager goes to the Eagle Festival in search of a girlfriend for Stephen Jr.
04/12/2007
03:19

The Word - Body Armor
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen isn't saying we don't face challenges in Iraq -- they still don't get his show in the Sunni triangle.
04/12/2007
03:00

The Pope and Iraq
The Colbert ReportS3

If the Pope wants a project, Stephen could help him get his own ice cream.
04/12/2007
00:11

Sign Off - Fondest Memories
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Stephen details where in your brain you can find tonight's episode.
04/16/2007
03:20

Paulina Likes Stephen
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen isn't surprised that Paulina Porizkova thinks he's hot, since looking at Ric Ocasek is like looking in a mirror.
04/16/2007
01:28

Mope Retraction
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen misidentifies the Mormon pope, but calls on the Mormon church to correct the mistake.
04/16/2007
00:35

Intro - 4/16/07
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Alberto Gonzales prepares to testify before Congress, Paul Wolfowitz gets his girlfriend a high-paying job, and Senator John Kerry talks to Stephen about the environment.
04/16/2007
02:09

The Metaphor-Off Is On
The Colbert ReportS3

Sean Penn picks up the gauntlet after Stephen draws a line in the sand.
04/16/2007
01:34

Alpha Dog of the Week - Paul Wolfowitz
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen makes Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week for lifting his leg on the World Bank.
04/16/2007
03:51

The Word - Clean Slate
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen feels the only way Alberto Gonzales can get a clean slate is to clean his own slate.
04/16/2007
06:21

John Kerry
The Colbert ReportS3

John Kerry hints that this may not be the first time he did not consider running for president.
04/16/2007
06:03

Elaine Pagels
The Colbert ReportS3

Elaine Pagels tells Stephen about the gospel according to Judas.
04/17/2007
00:38

Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
The Colbert ReportS3

Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
04/17/2007
03:41

The Word - Plan B
The Colbert ReportS3

The president's Plan A in Iraq must be going according to plan; otherwise they'd already be implementing Plan B.
04/17/2007
02:22

Turtle Race Update
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen gives an update on his adopted turtle, Stephanie, as she makes her way to the Galapagos Islands.
04/17/2007
02:06

Metaphor-Off Training
The Colbert ReportS3

To train for his Metaphor Off against Sean Penn, Stephen has been stretching his metonymies and doing synecdoche squats.
04/17/2007
00:33

Intro - 4/17/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
04/17/2007
04:13

Tip/Wag - Fake Sperm
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
04/17/2007
03:35

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer
The Colbert ReportS3

According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
04/18/2007
03:37

The Word - Branding
The Colbert ReportS3

Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
04/18/2007
00:30

Intro - 4/18/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Britain stops using the phrase "war on terror," debate rises over bovine growth hormones and supermodel Paulina Porizkova joins Stephen in the studio.
04/18/2007
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