The Colbert Report

Intro - 1/11/07

Season 3 • 01/11/2007

Stephen celebrates Gitmo's 5th anniversary.

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Watching

01:49

The Colbert ReportS3
President's Speech

Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
01/10/2007
03:56

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Worry

Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
01/10/2007
02:06

The Colbert ReportS3
Invasion of the Country Snatchers

Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
01/10/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 1/10/07

The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
01/10/2007
00:17

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Thawing Meat

Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
01/10/2007
05:23

The Colbert ReportS3
Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches

In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
01/10/2007
03:28

The Colbert ReportS3
What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up

Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
01/11/2007
04:02

The Colbert ReportS3
Tip/Wag - Science and Technology

Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
01/11/2007
06:48

The Colbert ReportS3
Judy Woodruff

Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
01/11/2007
05:43

The Colbert ReportS3
Ken Roth

On the fifth anniversary of Guantanamo Bay, Human Rights Watch executive director Ken Roth joins Stephen.
01/11/2007
00:28

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 1/11/07

Stephen sends a monogrammed waterboard to Guantanamo for its fifth anniversary.
01/11/2007
03:29

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Victory!

Stephen suggests we redefine our goals to what is actually happening. Then victory will be ours.
01/15/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 1/15/07

Stephen discusses plastic surgery with author Alex Kuczynski and debuts his new financial segment.
01/15/2007
04:45

The Colbert ReportS3
Alex Kuczynski

Alex Kuczynski explains why we don't look better after spending $15 billion on plastic surgery.
01/15/2007
02:40

The Colbert ReportS3
A Man's Touch

It's insensitive to remind Condoleezza Rice that she's going to die without knowing a man's touch.
01/15/2007
06:04

The Colbert ReportS3
Bears & Balls - Gas

Buy gas! It's a sure-fire commodity with no risk except for the sure risk of fire.
01/15/2007
02:25

The Colbert ReportS3
Inspired by Dr. King

Stephen calls for a national lie-in. It's time to go beyond passive resistance to pure passiveness.
01/15/2007
01:36

The Colbert ReportS3
Squeaky Chair

Stephen is feeling a little high-strung with Bill O'Reilly's impending visit, and his chair is caught in the crossfire.
01/16/2007
03:20

The Colbert ReportS3
Pesos for Pizza

Stephen is forced to rethink his three least favorite words: the Hollywood Foreign Press.
01/16/2007
03:37

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Symbolic

A symbolic Congress makes a symbolic stand against a symbolic war.
01/16/2007
00:35

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 1/16/07

Stephen begins the show with some self-aggrandizing vocal warm-ups.
01/16/2007
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