The Colbert Report

Intro - 1/11/07

Season 3 • 01/11/2007

Stephen celebrates Gitmo's 5th anniversary.

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01:49

President's Speech
The Colbert ReportS3

Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
01/10/2007
03:56

The Word - Worry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
01/10/2007
02:06

Invasion of the Country Snatchers
The Colbert ReportS3

Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
01/10/2007
00:30

Intro - 1/10/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
01/10/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Thawing Meat
The Colbert ReportS3

Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
01/10/2007
05:23

Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
01/10/2007
03:28

What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
01/11/2007
04:02

Tip/Wag - Science and Technology
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
01/11/2007
06:48

Judy Woodruff
The Colbert ReportS3

Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
01/11/2007
05:43

Ken Roth
The Colbert ReportS3

On the fifth anniversary of Guantanamo Bay, Human Rights Watch executive director Ken Roth joins Stephen.
01/11/2007
00:28

Intro - 1/11/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen sends a monogrammed waterboard to Guantanamo for its fifth anniversary.
01/11/2007
03:29

The Word - Victory!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests we redefine our goals to what is actually happening. Then victory will be ours.
01/15/2007
00:32

Intro - 1/15/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses plastic surgery with author Alex Kuczynski and debuts his new financial segment.
01/15/2007
04:45

Alex Kuczynski
The Colbert ReportS3

Alex Kuczynski explains why we don't look better after spending $15 billion on plastic surgery.
01/15/2007
02:40

A Man's Touch
The Colbert ReportS3

It's insensitive to remind Condoleezza Rice that she's going to die without knowing a man's touch.
01/15/2007
06:04

Bears & Balls - Gas
The Colbert ReportS3

Buy gas! It's a sure-fire commodity with no risk except for the sure risk of fire.
01/15/2007
02:25

Inspired by Dr. King
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen calls for a national lie-in. It's time to go beyond passive resistance to pure passiveness.
01/15/2007
01:36

Squeaky Chair
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is feeling a little high-strung with Bill O'Reilly's impending visit, and his chair is caught in the crossfire.
01/16/2007
03:20

Pesos for Pizza
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is forced to rethink his three least favorite words: the Hollywood Foreign Press.
01/16/2007
03:37

The Word - Symbolic
The Colbert ReportS3

A symbolic Congress makes a symbolic stand against a symbolic war.
01/16/2007
00:35

Intro - 1/16/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen begins the show with some self-aggrandizing vocal warm-ups.
01/16/2007
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