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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Goodnight
Season 5 • 03/04/2009
Goodnight, everybody.
More
Watching
00:14
The Murderer Was Derek
The Colbert Report
S5
For those of you just tuning in, the murderer was Derek.
03/03/2009
02:27
Space Module: Colbert - Name NASA's Node 3 After Stephen
The Colbert Report
S5
Colbert Nation is officially mobilized to get NASA's new space station node named "Colbert."
03/03/2009
00:34
Intro - 3/3/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.
03/03/2009
01:48
Guns for Roses
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
03/03/2009
04:20
The Word - Share the Wealth
The Colbert Report
S5
If we're paying for the poor's health care, we need to make sure they stay healthy.
03/03/2009
04:28
Carl Wilson
The Colbert Report
S5
Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love."
03/04/2009
00:31
Intro - 3/4/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
03/04/2009
03:53
Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen is ahead of Xenu in NASA's space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
03/04/2009
07:12
Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen makes up horrific doomsday scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
03/04/2009
04:07
Doom Bunker - Glenn Beck's "War Room"
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen encourages Glenn Beck to crank up the crazy and rip off the knob.
03/04/2009
00:03
Goodnight
The Colbert Report
S5
That's it for the show, everybody.
03/04/2009
01:24
Obama's Swing Set
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
03/05/2009
00:10
Leave You Wanting More
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen likes to leave you wanting more.
03/05/2009
05:28
Steven Johnson
The Colbert Report
S5
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
03/05/2009
00:26
Intro - 3/5/09
The Colbert Report
S5
The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
03/05/2009
04:44
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
The Colbert Report
S5
Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
03/05/2009
07:50
Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
The Colbert Report
S5
Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
03/05/2009
06:38
Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
The Colbert Report
S5
Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
03/09/2009
05:59
The Word - Locked and Loathed
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
03/09/2009
00:27
Intro - 3/9/09
The Colbert Report
S5
If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
03/09/2009
00:08
Sleep Tight, Abraham
The Colbert Report
S5
Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
03/09/2009
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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S25
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
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Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday
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