The Colbert Report

Intro - 12/12/05

Season 1 • 12/12/2005

The war on Christmas: only 12 shopping days left to assault our precious traditions.

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01:33

Nationwide Secret Santa
The Colbert ReportS1

An article about a town-wide Secret Santa program inspires Stephen to up the ante by starting one nationwide.
12/08/2005
07:52

Peggy Noonan
The Colbert ReportS1

Peggy Noonan speaks with Stephen about her new book and President Bush's bad luck.
12/08/2005
02:47

The Word - Satisfied?
The Colbert ReportS1

A Native American group sues the government for $100 billion, but settles for a postage stamp.
12/08/2005
03:38

Movies That Are Destroying America - Christmas
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen recommends "Brokeback Mountain" for the family, but takes serious issue with "The Family Stone" and "The Chronicles of Narnia."
12/08/2005
02:42

The Word - Belly Achin'
The Colbert ReportS1

Ford Motors recently made health insurance cuts, but that's the way it should be -- cars and health insurance have nothing to do with each other.
12/12/2005
05:38

Harry Smith
The Colbert ReportS1

Harry Smith of "The Early Show" shares some his favorite interviews and narrowly avoids getting nailed.
12/12/2005
03:34

The Real Christmas
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen knows what Christmas is really about: fire, bull testicles, shoe-fruit and black elves.
12/12/2005
02:30

The In-Box - Custom Stamps
The Colbert ReportS1

With the variety of Christmas stamps dwindling, Stephen recommends the use of customized photo stamps.
12/12/2005
00:08

Fract - War
The Colbert ReportS1

America has never lost nor tied a war.
12/12/2005
04:38

Un-American News - Tootsie
The Colbert ReportS1

A Spanish newspaper awards "Tootsie" a completely and totally un-American three-star rating.
12/12/2005
00:30

Intro - 12/12/05
The Colbert ReportS1

The war on Christmas, cuts in health insurance, foreign press and guest Harry Smith on this episode of The Colbert Report.
12/12/2005
05:02

Formidable Opponent - Steroids
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen and Stephen debate whether a crackdown on performance-enhancing drugs will save the world of sports or just rob it of its superstars.
12/13/2005
00:09

Fract - NBA
The Colbert ReportS1

Not one of the 170 guards who the National Basketball Association employs has ever been accused of torturing a prisoner.
12/13/2005
02:37

The Word - Lombardi
The Colbert ReportS1

George W. Bush has played five great quarters so far. He never quits; he never pulls out.
12/13/2005
05:40

Bob Costas
The Colbert ReportS1

Bob Costas reveals which sports are manly and which ones are just low-scoring European prance parties.
12/13/2005
00:28

Intro - 12/13/05
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen determines what makes a great coach and learns about performance-enhancing steroids. Plus, Bob Costas will judge Stephen's triple salchow.
12/13/2005
03:36

The De-Ballification of the American Sportscape
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen demonstrates how the telestrator works on actual footage of Tony Blair playing soccer.
12/13/2005
01:00

Sign Off - Excellence in Everything
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen presents tonight's Colbert Report Special Report trophy for the Omnisport Award for Excellence in Everything.
12/13/2005
01:15

Sports Update
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen checks some of last night's sports scores by using the footage he can afford.
12/13/2005
01:21

King Kong
The Colbert ReportS1

"King Kong" is an allegory for the times: Kong is Bush, Skull Island is Washington and Naomi Watts is America.
12/14/2005
06:19

Dermot Mulroney
The Colbert ReportS1

Dermot Mulroney tells Stephen about his new movie, what it's like to be a chick-flick actor, and whether or not he could take Yo-Yo Ma.
12/14/2005
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