The Colbert Report
Intro - 6/26/07
Season 3 • 06/26/2007
Ton Blair is meeting with the Pope -- maybe he can get the Swiss Guard sent to Iraq.
Tom HaydenThe Colbert ReportS3
Tom Hayden, author of "Ending the War in Iraq," was one of the Chicago Seven. He's about to meet all of the Colbert One.
The Word - Fourth BranchThe Colbert ReportS3
Dick Cheney is our shadow leader and he can stick his papers where the sun don't shine.
Sign Off - ContractThe Colbert ReportS3
Even if you didn't like tonight's show, Stephen will still see you tomorrow.
The Word - ElsewhereThe Colbert ReportS3
The Bush administration is thinking of closing the prison at Guantanamo Bay and moving it elsewhere. Stephen figures they'll move it to Mars, and he knows exactly why.
Christmas in JuneThe Colbert ReportS3
It's June 26, 2007, and Stephen is ringing in the yuletide spirit early by combining his tree-lighting ceremony with the 4th of July.
Tony Blair's ConversionThe Colbert ReportS3
Prime Minister Tony Blair may be converting to Catholicism, according to a priest who heard it from a bishop who heard it from a cardinal who read it in the British tabloids.
Sign Off - Visions of SugarplumsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen signs off, hoping that visions of sugarplums dance in your heads -- for six months.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Fred ThompsonThe Colbert ReportS3
Fred Thompson's ex-girlfriends are lining up to endorse him, so Stephen is rewarding the potential presidential candidate's ability to do it Alpha-Doggie style.
David FranceThe Colbert ReportS3
David France tells Stephen about the science that further supports the theory that homosexuality is genetic, but must admit that not all the science has been scienced.
Christmas PresentsThe Colbert ReportS3
The Mexican government is upset that the U.S. government built a fence on its side of the border. Stephen assures them it was a Christmas present.
Intro - 6/26/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight: Ton Blair meets with the Pope, the Administration considers closing Gitmo, and guest David France tells Stephen that gaydar is real.
Give Stephen an iPhoneThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen was outraged to find out that three major newspapers received iPhones before he did, so he reviewed an imaginary one and gave it zero stars.
Tom BlantonThe Colbert ReportS3
Professional tattle-tale Tom Blanton explains to Stephen why the Freedom of Information Act is so important and what freedom is all about.
Daniel GilbertThe Colbert ReportS3
Daniel Gilbert talks about his new book and tells Stephen that money doesn't buy happiness, kids are a pain in the ass and marriage and religion will make you happy.
Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - ShaqThe Colbert ReportS3
Shaquille O'Neal sells-out fast-food marketing, Sinead O'Connor still hates Jesus, Harry Potter spoilers aren't so bad and the Transformers movie is not trustworthy.
Intro - 6/27/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen tells the CIA how to get blood out of their clothing, tries to figure out the secrets of Harry Potter's tricks and makes author Daniel Gilbert unhappy.
Sign Off - Going on VacationThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's going on vacation for two weeks, but don't get too depressed -- think of the reruns as me-runs.
Colbert Platinum - Luxury Car WrecksThe Colbert ReportS3
All right, billionaires, put down your diamond-encrusted diamond encruster and tune into the latest edition of Colbert Platinum.
Civil Unrest in IranThe Colbert ReportS3
The Iranian government began rationing gas to its citizens, causing long lines and riots. This is fantastic news -- Iran today is like America in the 1970s.
Intro - 6/28/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight: A Republican senator turns against the war, a segment for high-income viewers, and Stephen shows guest Doug Bailey his centrist finger.
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