The Colbert Report
Pegasus Pipeline Spill
Season 9 • 04/04/2013

For legal and tax reasons, the black, sticky stuff that surged through an Arkansas suburb isn't classified as oil; it's "diluted bitumen."

Watching

05:45

The Colbert ReportS9
A.C. Grayling

The philosopher shares his book, "The God Argument: The Case Against Religion and for Humanism."
04/03/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Campaign Poster

Stephen makes a poster for his sister, House candidate Elizabeth Colbert Busch.
04/03/2013
04:16

The Colbert ReportS9
RNC Young Voters Survey

The Republican Party's SurveyMonkey survey addresses young voters' love of diversity and how to come out of the closet.
04/03/2013
03:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Gun Control & Barn Orgies

Louie Gohmert's logical argument against gun control has proven that any liberal policy eventually leads to sex with animals.
04/03/2013
06:46

The Colbert ReportS9
"Morning Joe" vs. The Colbert Report

Joe Scarborough airs a pure infomercial for his buddy and congressional candidate Mark Sanford, which inspires Stephen to endorse Mark's opponent, Elizabeth Colbert Busch.
04/03/2013
07:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Francis Collins

BRAIN Initiative project director Francis Collins discusses the most complicated biological structure in the universe.
04/04/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - EEG Cap

Stephen monitors his brain activity.
04/04/2013
03:25

The Colbert ReportS9
Obama's BRAIN Initiative

If the gun registry is just a plot to take away America's guns, then Obama's brain registry is just a ploy to take away its brains.
04/04/2013
00:29

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 4/4/13

The Obama administration starts a science initiative, and NIH Director Francis Collins tries to map out the brain.
04/04/2013
05:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Koko & Jeremy Irons on Gay Marriage

Koko the talking gorilla conveys her sadness, and Jeremy Irons's anti-gay comments aren't offensive because he eventually wishes everybody well.
04/04/2013
03:41

The Colbert ReportS9
Pegasus Pipeline Spill

For legal and tax reasons, the black, sticky stuff that surged through an Arkansas suburb isn't classified as oil; it's "diluted bitumen."
04/04/2013
07:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 1

President Bill Clinton explains why he doesn't call the Clinton Global Initiative the Clinton American Initiative.
04/08/2013
04:47

The Colbert ReportS9
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 2

President Bill Clinton discusses his time restraints as president and his "totally selfish" aid work, including agricultural projects in Rwanda and Malawi.
04/08/2013
00:17

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Colbert Galactic Initiative

Bill Clinton says goodnight and reminds Stephen that he succumbed to the famed Clinton charisma.
04/08/2013
04:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 3

President Bill Clinton advocates political participation, praises social networks and utilizes his new Twitter account, @PrezBillyJeff.
04/08/2013
04:01

The Colbert ReportS9
Colbert Galactic Initiative

Stephen introduces the Colbert Galactic Initiative, salutes Clinton Global Initiative University students, and readies the stage for President Bill Clinton.
04/08/2013
03:01

The Colbert ReportS9
Exxon's Disaster Relief

Exxon tries to put the Pegasus pipeline oil back underground where it came from and employs a time-honored cleanup technique pioneered by drunk guys.
04/09/2013
06:49

The Colbert ReportS9
Charlie LeDuff

Detroit native Charlie LeDuff discusses white flight, black flight, business flight and "dead flight" in his hometown.
04/09/2013
08:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange Fair

Stephen joins Bill and Chelsea Clinton to check out problem-solving projects, like helmet concussion sensors and fecal-powered toilets.
04/09/2013
00:10

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Potato Clock

Stephen aspires to solve world hunger.
04/09/2013
00:38

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 4/9/13

Stephen heads back to the Clinton Global Initiative, the Arkansas pipeline spill persists, and author Charlie LeDuff explains why America shouldn't give up on Detroit.
04/09/2013
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