The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 08/20/2009
Chris Matthews says the Kennedys changed everything in American politics.
Colbert Platinum - Urbane Nomads, Gigayacht & Michael Jackson DiamondThe Colbert ReportS5
Urbane Nomads offers lavish hunting expeditions, Everest Gigayacht costs $500 million, and LifeGem makes a diamond from Michael Jackson's hair.
Sugar Shortage - Marion NestleThe Colbert ReportS5
Marion Nestle confirms Stephen's fear that there is a sugar shortage in America, despite the fact that it's baseless.
Barney Frank Refuses to Talk to a Dining Room TableThe Colbert ReportS5
Barney Frank has no interest in arguing with a dining room table, but he can't stifle the voice of American furniture on Stephen's watch.
Ang LeeThe Colbert ReportS5
Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."
P.K. Winsome - Anti-Obama CollectiblesThe Colbert ReportS5
P.K. Winsome offers authentic "Barack Obama Is Hitler" mustaches to put on any pro-Obama collectible.
Intro - 8/20/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Make BabiesThe Colbert ReportS5
America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers.
Sign Off - Vacation BeginsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen officially starts his three-week vacation now.
France Bans ElephantsThe Colbert ReportS5
France ruins Stephen's vacation plans by banning elephants from French beaches.
Chris MatthewsThe Colbert ReportS5
Chris Matthews believes American politics would have been completely different without the Kennedys.
Conservatives Are BackThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama's speech on health care reform is so moving it almost fools Lindsey Graham into clapping.
Cory BookerThe Colbert ReportS5
Mayor Cory Booker discusses Newark's decreasing crime rate and gives Stephen the right to pee.
Better Know a Lobby - Health Care for America NowThe Colbert ReportS5
Richard Kirsch must choose between saving universal health care or saving an old lady from drowning.
Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at the VMAsThe Colbert ReportS5
Kanye West's attack on Taylor Swift at the VMAs was actually an attack on Stephen.
Intro - 9/14/09The Colbert ReportS5
The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.
Stephen Loses World Record to Lou DobbsThe Colbert ReportS5
Lou Dobbs beats Stephen with the world record for most insults to Mexico in a single broadcast.
Christiane AmanpourThe Colbert ReportS5
Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."
Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission - Jeffrey ToobinThe Colbert ReportS5
Jeffrey Toobin explains what will happen to elections if the Supreme Court decides in favor of corporations.
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