The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/7/11
Season 7 • 03/07/2011
Who will be the first Republican to enter the presidential race? Spoiler alert: he's rich and white.
The Colbert ReportS7 Mark Moffett
Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
The Colbert ReportS7 Fox News Suspends Contributors
Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
The Colbert ReportS7 Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy Fallon
The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
The Colbert ReportS7 Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Late Night Snack
Stephen's got to say that Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack flavor is pretty good.
The Colbert ReportS7 On Notice - Mike Huckabee
Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report.
The Colbert ReportS7 Joshua Foer
Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
The Colbert ReportS7 Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's Portrait
Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
The Colbert ReportS7 America's Next GOP Model
Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
The Colbert ReportS7 Stephen Wants an iPad 2
Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 3/7/11
Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
The Colbert ReportS7 Light Bulb Ban - Dale Bryk
Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone Sanchez
Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
The Colbert ReportS7 Dan Sinker
Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
The Colbert ReportS7 Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's Day
Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
The Colbert ReportS7 Charlie Sheen & Fake Rahm Emanuel on Twitter
Charlie Sheen gets a new gig as Twitter overlord, and the fake Rahm Emanuel is unmasked.
The Colbert ReportS7 Light Bulb Ban
The socket huggers claim that pigtail bulbs last up to 10 years, but they haven't considered how the efficient lights will affect the joke-telling industry.
The Colbert ReportS7 Bench Press - Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner wants to ensure that the Supreme Court upholds a standard of ethics by asking Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from health care cases.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 3/9/11
Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and Stephen hopes David Brooks' book, "The Social Animal," is about a hamster on Facebook.
The Colbert ReportS7 David Brooks
David Brooks describes the way unconscious emotions affect people's decisions and values.
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