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The Colbert Report
Maria Shriver
Season 5 • 11/10/2009
Maria Shriver introduces her new ice cream, Lovin' Scoopful, that benefits Special Olympics.
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Watching
03:10
The Colbert Report
S5
U.S. Speedskating Team Takes Gold
Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
11/09/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/9/09
The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
11/09/2009
02:55
The Colbert Report
S5
Exclusive - Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
Rep. Mike Castle is convinced Barack Obama is an American citizen, despite his constituents' tiny flags and birth certificates wrapped in plastic.
11/09/2009
07:56
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
11/09/2009
05:19
The Colbert Report
S5
Thomas Campbell
Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
11/09/2009
00:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Goodnight
Stephen says goodnight.
11/09/2009
00:09
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
11/10/2009
00:30
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/10/09
The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
11/10/2009
02:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
11/10/2009
06:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Iraniversary - Karim Sadjadpour
Karim Sadjadpour describes Iranian math superstar Mahmoud Vahidnia's unprecedented act of challenging Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini.
11/10/2009
05:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Maria Shriver
Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
11/10/2009
00:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell
The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
11/11/2009
06:22
The Colbert Report
S5
Christopher Caldwell
Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
11/11/2009
05:23
The Colbert Report
S5
Grover the Hill
America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
11/11/2009
02:39
The Colbert Report
S5
Goldman Sachs Does God's Work
Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
11/11/2009
04:13
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton
The San Francisco Chronicle prints on glossy paper, and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules in favor of George Clinton.
11/11/2009
02:24
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen Claims Lou Dobbs' Audience
In punditry, like in "Highlander," there can be only one Lou Dobbs, so Stephen claims his audience after Dobbs quits CNN.
11/12/2009
01:26
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Stephen Shaves Woody's Head
Stephen shaves Woody Harrelson's head while they both sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
11/12/2009
00:30
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/12/09
Stephen discusses the national ammunition shortage and talks to Woody Harrelson about his military movie.
11/12/2009
03:46
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - The Money Shot
If we want to save the U.S. dollar, we should peg it to America's most precious metal of all: lead.
11/12/2009
01:24
The Colbert Report
S5
Miracle Whip Buys Ad Space
Stephen is going to buy more delicious mayonnaise with the money from Miracle Whip's advertising.
11/12/2009
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