The Colbert Report
Spay and Neuter Your Pets
Season 5 • 05/07/2009
Animal members of the Colbert Nation, run!
Colbert-Branson DuelThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best ManThe Colbert ReportS5
The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi ArabiaThe Colbert ReportS5
Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
Intro - 5/6/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.
Hug Your TelevisionThe Colbert ReportS5
If you can't stand being apart from Stephen, pause the screen and hug your TV for 23 1/2 hours.
Intro - 5/7/09The Colbert ReportS5
It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.
Clasp Your Hands Say YahwehThe Colbert ReportS5
To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen amps up his own National Day of Prayer prayer with his special Prayer Reportnalia and the Danciples.
Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit NationThe Colbert ReportS5
Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
Mitchell JoachimThe Colbert ReportS5
Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
Sean Hannity's Liberty TreeThe Colbert ReportS5
Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
Spay and Neuter Your PetsThe Colbert ReportS5
Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
Sign Off - Unicorn DealershipThe Colbert ReportS5
If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
Intro - 5/11/09The Colbert ReportS5
Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik SlyeThe Colbert ReportS5
The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
Stephen's Fancy FeastThe Colbert ReportS5
When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
Credit Card Industry Regulation - Tamara DrautThe Colbert ReportS5
Tamara Draut believes industry regulation is necessary now that Americans are using credit for basic necessities.
Credit CheckThe Colbert ReportS5
Credit card companies are part of an honest industry just trying to make 30% on a buck.
Jeff DanielsThe Colbert ReportS5
Jeff Daniels' explains how the play "God of Carnage" shows what happens once the mask of civility is taken away.
Howard's EndThe Colbert ReportS5
The Vatican's hesitation to boycott Ron Howard's movie, "Angels & Demons," shocks and dismays Stephen.
Intro - 5/12/09The Colbert ReportS5
The embargo on Cuba could be lifted, and Ron Howard discusses his directorial work on the most anti-Catholic film since "Sister Act 2."
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