The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/31/13
Season 9 • 07/31/2013
Simon Cowell prepares for fatherhood, and Emily Matchar talks about homemaking.
Ted Cruz's Humble PortraitThe Colbert ReportS9
Senator Ted Cruz hangs a giant painting of himself in court but doesn't mention what noble cause he championed that day.
Senator GridlockThe Colbert ReportS9
Tea Partiers punish the leader of the do-nothing Congress, Mitch McConnell, for the handful of times he done did something.
Sign Off - Sleigh BellsThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen plays an instrument from the melting North Pole.
Atul GawandeThe Colbert ReportS9
Atul Gawande discusses his New Yorker article, "Slow Ideas: Some ideas spread fast. How do you speed the ones that don't?"
Stephen Colbert's Super Coin TossThe Colbert ReportS9
Board game makers tailor their products for today's attention-deficient child and Stephen loses at his own game.
Emily MatcharThe Colbert ReportS9
Journalist Emily Matchar explains America's re-embracing of lost domestic arts and practices.
Lunch or Campaign 2016?The Colbert ReportS9
A White House lunch between President Obama and Hillary Clinton spurs 2016 presidential campaign speculation.
Sign Off - Game OverThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen loses at Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss.
Bradley Manning VerdictThe Colbert ReportS9
WikiLeaker Bradley Manning evades the most serious charge leveled against him, but could still receive a 154-year slap on the wrist.
Chris Christie vs. Rand PaulThe Colbert ReportS9
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul trade barbs.
Intro - 7/31/13The Colbert ReportS9
Hillary Clinton presidential speculation increases, Simon Cowell impregnates his friend's wife, and Emily Matchar charts the return of traditional homemaking activities.
Grab-Ask 5800The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen devises a foolproof system to help Bob Filner navigate the sexual rules of the modern workplace.
Intro - 8/1/13The Colbert ReportS9
Shocking news comes from Gitmo, San Diego's mayor faces sexual misconduct charges, and "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston talks about the final season.
ThreatDown - Global Erotic Extremism, Mini Muslims & Stripper BearsThe Colbert ReportS9
Terrorists love America for its BDSM, Crayola features Islamic coloring pages, and bears turn trees into stripper poles.
Oppressed White Male Alert - Bob FilnerThe Colbert ReportS9
Mayor Bob Filner isn't taking a few sexual harassment charges lying down -- or pinned against the office supply room door.
Bryan CranstonThe Colbert ReportS9
Bryan Cranston recalls his beginnings on "Power Rangers," which likely led to his criminal persona on "Breaking Bad."
Edward Snowden's AsylumThe Colbert ReportS9
NSA leaker Edward Snowden leaves the Moscow airport after a month of hiding.
Sign Off - Glossary of TermsThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reviews a cultural document from Viacom.
Global Terror WarningThe Colbert ReportS9
The Obama administration alerts Americans about an imminent Al Qaeda attack that could happen any moment, anywhere, at any time.
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