The Colbert Report

Intro - 7/31/13

Season 9 • 07/31/2013

Simon Cowell prepares for fatherhood, and Emily Matchar talks about homemaking.

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03:32

Ted Cruz's Humble Portrait
The Colbert ReportS9

Senator Ted Cruz hangs a giant painting of himself in court but doesn't mention what noble cause he championed that day.
07/30/2013
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02:06

Senator Gridlock
The Colbert ReportS9

Tea Partiers punish the leader of the do-nothing Congress, Mitch McConnell, for the handful of times he done did something.
07/30/2013
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00:07

Sign Off - Sleigh Bells
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen plays an instrument from the melting North Pole.
07/30/2013
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06:04

Atul Gawande
The Colbert ReportS9

Atul Gawande discusses his New Yorker article, "Slow Ideas: Some ideas spread fast. How do you speed the ones that don't?"
07/30/2013
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04:13

Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss
The Colbert ReportS9

Board game makers tailor their products for today's attention-deficient child and Stephen loses at his own game.
07/31/2013
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05:07

Emily Matchar
The Colbert ReportS9

Journalist Emily Matchar explains America's re-embracing of lost domestic arts and practices.
07/31/2013
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04:10

Lunch or Campaign 2016?
The Colbert ReportS9

A White House lunch between President Obama and Hillary Clinton spurs 2016 presidential campaign speculation.
07/31/2013
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00:14

Sign Off - Game Over
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen loses at Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss.
07/31/2013
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04:09

Bradley Manning Verdict
The Colbert ReportS9

WikiLeaker Bradley Manning evades the most serious charge leveled against him, but could still receive a 154-year slap on the wrist.
07/31/2013
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02:16

Chris Christie vs. Rand Paul
The Colbert ReportS9

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul trade barbs.
07/31/2013
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00:41

Intro - 7/31/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Hillary Clinton presidential speculation increases, Simon Cowell impregnates his friend's wife, and Emily Matchar charts the return of traditional homemaking activities.
07/31/2013
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02:22

Grab-Ask 5800
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen devises a foolproof system to help Bob Filner navigate the sexual rules of the modern workplace.
08/01/2013
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00:36

Intro - 8/1/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Shocking news comes from Gitmo, San Diego's mayor faces sexual misconduct charges, and "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston talks about the final season.
08/01/2013
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00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen raises a brow.
08/01/2013
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04:47

ThreatDown - Global Erotic Extremism, Mini Muslims & Stripper Bears
The Colbert ReportS9

Terrorists love America for its BDSM, Crayola features Islamic coloring pages, and bears turn trees into stripper poles.
08/01/2013
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04:05

Oppressed White Male Alert - Bob Filner
The Colbert ReportS9

Mayor Bob Filner isn't taking a few sexual harassment charges lying down -- or pinned against the office supply room door.
08/01/2013
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06:34

Bryan Cranston
The Colbert ReportS9

Bryan Cranston recalls his beginnings on "Power Rangers," which likely led to his criminal persona on "Breaking Bad."
08/01/2013
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01:31

Edward Snowden's Asylum
The Colbert ReportS9

NSA leaker Edward Snowden leaves the Moscow airport after a month of hiding.
08/01/2013
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00:06

Sign Off - Glossary of Terms
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reviews a cultural document from Viacom.
08/05/2013
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03:28

Global Terror Warning
The Colbert ReportS9

The Obama administration alerts Americans about an imminent Al Qaeda attack that could happen any moment, anywhere, at any time.
08/05/2013
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05:17

Broadcast Networks Want More Indecency
The Colbert ReportS9

Four broadcast networks horn in on basic cable's turf, so Hugh Laurie and Stephen take a stand.
08/05/2013
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