The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/19/11
Season 7 • 01/19/2011
There are major changes to the zodiac: Taurus now comes standard with power windows.
The Colbert ReportS7 Mika Brzezinski Experiences Palin Fatigue
Mika Brzezinski thinks Sarah Palin's speeches are coded talking points mixed in with words picked up at random from a thesaurus.
The Colbert ReportS7 Coma Cozy
The Coma Cozy comes with a feeding tube hole and a warm fleece catheter for effortless cocoon living.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 1/18/11
Stephen wants to make American children Chinese and assumes Cornel West's book is about Obama joining the circus.
The Colbert ReportS7 The Word - Disintegration
North Carolina Tea Partiers want to reverse socially engineered progress until things get so bad for the poor that they can't be ignored.
The Colbert ReportS7 Shout Out - Preston Pysh
Preston Pysh receives the single highest honor a member of the military can receive from a civilian: the Colbert Bump of Honor.
The Colbert ReportS7 Tip/Wag - Four Loko & Horoscopes
Four Loko finds a new way to make money off their liver-destroying gutter swill, and horoscopes are off by one month.
The Colbert ReportS7 Ron Reagan
Ron Reagan helps Stephen remember that his father raised taxes and provided amnesty to illegal immigrants.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - I Eat America (And So Can You!) Recall
Stephen announces a recall of "I Eat America (And So Can You!)" due to a production error beyond his control.
The Colbert ReportS7 Black-Tie Dinner for Hu Jintao
President Obama's black-tie dinner for Hu Jintao should have been a sweatpants potluck with box wine and a sleeve of Oreos.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 1/19/11
Stephen wants someone to open his present from Afghanistan and asks Ron Reagan about which president he wrote his memoir.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Donald Pellview
Stephen thanks his understudy, Donald Pellview, for filling in for him tonight.
The Colbert ReportS7 50th Anniversary of JFK's Inaugural Address
On the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's "Ask Not" inaugural address, the all-American pundit panel tears Camelot a new hole.
The Colbert ReportS7 State Budget Shortfalls - Christine Todd Whitman
Christine Todd Whitman explains what services she would cut first if she were the governor of one of the 46 states facing budget deficits.
The Colbert ReportS7 Chris Matthews
Chris Matthews remembers John F. Kennedy as a war hero who was the first president to stand up for civil rights.
The Colbert ReportS7 Rush Limbaugh Speaks Chinese
Stephen is deeply offended by Rush Limbaugh's cheap, insensitive rip-off of his only character, Ching Chong Ding Dong.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 1/24/11
House Republicans repeal health care to create new jobs, and Stephen won't let Charlie Rose talks until he gets a free tote bag.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Keith Olbermug
Stephen puts Keith Olbermug inside Bill O'Reilly's microwave oven so they can fight it out.
The Colbert ReportS7 Stephen Rejects Keith Olbermann's Power
Keith Olbermann's essence is deflected into a coffee cup after Stephen's body rejects his power like a pompous kidney.
The Colbert ReportS7 Charlie Rose
Charlie Rose admits that he rarely sits down for interviews himself because he has nothing to say.
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