The Colbert Report

Better Know a District - New York's 11th - Major Owens

Season 1 • 12/15/2005

Stephen and Congressman Major Owens swap rap poems.

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06:19

Dermot Mulroney
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Dermot Mulroney tells Stephen about his new movie, what it's like to be a chick-flick actor, and whether or not he could take Yo-Yo Ma.
12/14/2005
02:10

Sign Off - Three Stockings
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Stephen puts an IOU for an Xbox 360 in The Heroes' stocking.
12/14/2005
03:27

Tip/Wag - Redefining Cruel and Unusual
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Stephen tips his hat to the Pentagon for redefining cruel and unusual interrogation tactics and wags his finger at Australia's riots.
12/14/2005
00:29

Intro - 12/14/05
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Stephen reports on President Bush's awareness level, reminds America of his journalistic status and talks to actor Dermot Mulroney.
12/14/2005
03:04

The Word - Travolta
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Newsweek says Bush is in a bubble. Stephen doesn't think that's a bad thing.
12/14/2005
05:40

Mark Cuban
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Stephen talks to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban about politics and how he became a billionaire.
12/15/2005
01:35

Tax Deductions
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Stephen explains what you need to know about business-related tax deductions and shows off some of the items that he'll be deducting.
12/15/2005
02:00

War on Holiday
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After researching the origin of the word "holiday," Stephen declares war on "holiday."
12/15/2005
00:30

Intro - 12/15/05
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Stephen covers the war on Christmas, wonders about the coming year and chats with billionaire Mark Cuban about what money can't buy.
12/15/2005
03:29

The Word - Jetpack
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As 2005 comes to a close, Stephen reflects on The Colbert Report and looks forward to beginning the new year.
12/15/2005
06:30

Better Know a District - New York's 11th - Major Owens
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen tries out a rap poem about Brooklyn Congressman Major Owens and proposes an alternative to raising the minimum wage.
12/15/2005
04:01

The Word - There Is No Word
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Stephen has been hypnotized out of remembering any associations with Jack Abramoff.
01/09/2006
03:11

Tip/Wag - Addicted to Cute
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Studies show that things that cuteness stimulates the same part of the brain as drugs, sex and delicious food.
01/09/2006
03:04

On Notice/Dead to Me - Word of the Year
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"Truthiness" receives the American Dialect Society's Word of the Year award. Stephen receives no credit.
01/09/2006
01:11

The Lusk-Alito Connection
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Reverend Herbert H. Lusk hosts a huge rally for Supreme Court Justice nominee Samuel J. Alito because, apparently, he really believes in him.
01/09/2006
04:33

Nancy Grace
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Nancy Grace talks about what's right and wrong with the legal system.
01/09/2006
02:12

Going at It
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Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly and David Letterman argue it out on "The Late Show," and Stephen gets into it with Conan O'Brien on "Late Night."
01/09/2006
01:00

Merry Christmas
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Relieved that Christmas was saved this year, Stephen salutes the heroes who are brave enough to say "Merry Christmas" all year round.
01/09/2006
00:10

Fract - Columbus
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If it wasn't for Christopher Columbus, Native Americans wouldn't have known what an American was.
01/09/2006
00:32

Intro - 1/9/06
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Stephen looks into how to tip a congressman, Elmo's competition, Nancy Grace's involvement with the law and cuteness addiction.
01/09/2006
03:38

Off Notice - The E Street Band
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Stephen presents guitarist Steven Van Zandt with the "You're Off Notice" gift basket.
01/10/2006
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