The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/31/07
Season 3 • 01/31/2007
Eight percent of sheep are gay -- the rest are into bestiality.
The Colbert ReportS3 New Military Weapon
The Pentagon introduces a new non-lethal weapon with an invisible beam, but Stephen has come up with his own irresistible security technology.
The Colbert ReportS3 Donna Shalala
Stephen asks Donna Shalala if cabinet meetings were interrupted to change Clinton's bong water.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Microwave Gift to O'Reilly
It was an honor for Stephen to steal a microwave from Bill O'Reilly's green room, but he hasn't been feeling too great about what he did.
The Colbert ReportS3 David Leonhardt
How much should we spend on freedom? Stephen makes David Leonhardt an offer he can't refuse.
The Colbert ReportS3 Judge, Jury & Executioner - Adultery
Stephen declares Scooter Libby innocent, a life sentence for adultery fair, and a Levi's lawsuit baseless.
The Colbert ReportS3 Global Warming
To protest Paris' decrease in power consumption, Stephen has replaced his stage manager, Bobby, with a 5,000 watt heat lamp
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Black Sheep
If sheep do it, it must prove that being gay is natural, right? Wrong. It just proves being a sheep is unnatural.
The Colbert ReportS3 Jed Babbin
Stephen asks Jed Babbin what can be done to shut the American people up.
The Colbert ReportS3 Better Know a District - New York's 6th - Gregory Meeks
Stephen asks Gregory Meeks if he expects much resistance to the mandatory gay marriage act.
The Colbert ReportS3 On Notice - Jane Fonda Fantasies
Stephen can't put Jane Fonda on notice until he puts his fantasies of Jane Fonda on notice.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 1/31/07
Stephen looks at gay sheep, and throws down with Gregory Meeks.
The Colbert ReportS3 Chuck Schumer
Chuck Schumer talks to Stephen about his new book, his views on Iraq and Hillary Clinton. Then, Stephen accuses him of promising a bad economy.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - We Shall Overcome
The Hispanic Congressional Congress is a perfect example of being colorblind -- they have eleven non-Hispanic members to their five Hispanic members.
The Colbert ReportS3 Cartoon Terrorism
A publicity stunt for Aqua Teen Hunger Force caused a terrorism scare in Boston. What's more, it also ruined several marketing campaigns that Stephen had planned.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever Heard
Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/1/07
Tom Tancredo has plans to get rid of the congressional black caucus, Stephen's getting sick from the Oscars and Chuck Schumer has advice for the Democrats.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ending Racism
In response to a remark by Frank Hargrove, Stephen apologizes for racism and bids farewell to it with a video montage.
The Colbert ReportS3 Movies That Are Destroying America - Oscars Edition
The Oscars really made Stephen sick this year with movies like "Little Miss Sunshine," "Pan's Labyrinth" and "An Inconvenient Truth."
The Colbert ReportS3 Peyton Manseed
Stephen is thrilled about the Bears being slaughtered in the Super Bowl and approves of Prince's kosher halftime performance.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/5/07
Despite global warming, Stephen's freezing his ass off while that bastard Tesla gains another victory, and Wendy Kopp gets schooled by America.
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