The Colbert Report
Be Almost All That You Can Be
Season 6 • 02/03/2010
John McCain rejects Admiral Mike Mullen's unwanted advances to overturn "don't ask, don't tell."
Sign Off - Kentucky Fried RegretThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen says goodnight while eating his Sergeant Salinger bucket of chicken.
Intro - 2/2/10The Colbert ReportS6
A new website takes social networking to the next level, and Eliot Spitzer is pretty stoked about that Tiger Woods business.
The Word - Cognoscor Ergo SumThe Colbert ReportS6
Blippy.com posts every purchase you make, and IJustMadeLove.com shows where people had sex.
Bananafish Tale - Henry AllenThe Colbert ReportS6
Henry Allen is willing to say on record that J.D. Salinger blew it by not coming on the show.
Eliot SpitzerThe Colbert ReportS6
Eliot Spitzer thinks Americans should be furious that the financial system is being rebuilt exactly as it was before the economic collapse.
John DurantThe Colbert ReportS6
John Durant eats like a caveman because our genes are best adapted to a hunter-gatherer diet.
Job Man Caravan - Peter CoveThe Colbert ReportS6
Peter Cove helps the studio audience get back to work by taking questions and offering advice.
Sign Off - Office PoolThe Colbert ReportS6
If you had "30 minutes" in your office Length of the Colbert Report Pool, you won.
Intro - 2/3/10The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen asks if gays should be allowed to serve openly in the military, and John Durant wants us to live like cavemen.
Job Man CaravanThe Colbert ReportS6
Unemployment is racing out of control faster than a Toyota Camry through your grandmother's garage door.
Be Almost All That You Can BeThe Colbert ReportS6
John McCain won't consider changing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy until he hears from every leader of the military.
Intro - 2/4/10The Colbert ReportS6
A CIA agent makes startling revelations, and Henry Louis Gates, Jr. reveals Stephen's ancestry.
Henry Louis Gates, Jr.The Colbert ReportS6
Henry Louis Gates, Jr. informs Stephen that he's the whitest man he's ever tested using genetic analysis.
Tip/Wag - Waterboarding & Canada's HistoryThe Colbert ReportS6
A former CIA operative admits to lying about the effectiveness of waterboarding, and The Beaver changes its name to Canada's History.
Hermaphrodites Can't Be GayThe Colbert ReportS6
It is physically impossible for hermaphrodites to be gay -- they can be straight, double straight or double gay.
Own a Piece of Histor-Me - Fireplace PortraitThe Colbert ReportS6
The final item up for auction is Stephen's old fireplace portrait benefiting the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
Formidable Opponent - Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's TrialThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen wants to give Khalid Sheikh Mohammed a fair public trial until he hears Stephen's defense.
Jonathan Safran FoerThe Colbert ReportS6
Jonathan Safran Foer says the U.S. farm system is perfectly antithetical to American values.
Sarah Palin Uses a Hand-O-PrompterThe Colbert ReportS6
Sarah Palin uses a hand-o-prompter and defends Rush Limbaugh for calling liberals "retards."
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