The Colbert Report

The Word - Premium Package

Season 3 • 07/23/2007

Americans' rights should not be denied on any basis except their tax returns.

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03:28

The Colbert ReportS3
March to Enslavement - Stephen Gets an iPhone

After months of begging -- with dignity -- Stephen finally gets a free iPhone.
07/19/2007
07:09

The Colbert ReportS3
Michael Moore

Stephen isn't comfortable sitting that close to Michael Moore.
07/19/2007
04:27

The Colbert ReportS3
Frank Sulloway

Frank Sulloway's research indicates that elder siblings have a greater chance of being the smarter sibling. As the youngest of 11, Stephen takes issue with that.
07/19/2007
03:17

The Colbert ReportS3
Republican Candidates' Suffering

John McCain's "Straight Talk Express" hit a few bumps in the road, most of which turned out to be former passengers.
07/19/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 7/19/07

Michael Moore criticizes health care, Stephen launches a new segment about emerging technologies, and guest Frank Sulloway wants attention from his parents.
07/19/2007
00:15

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Just About Out of Time

The Report is just about out of time. Or, to be exact, it was just about out of time a moment ago.
07/23/2007
00:13

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 7/23/07

Stephen is too busy reading the newly-released final Harry Potter book to introduce the show.
07/23/2007
06:01

The Colbert ReportS3
Colbert Platinum - Private Submarines

You've got your Lamborghini, you've got your private jet, you've got your schooner -- what should your next expensive vehicle purchase be? A submarine.
07/23/2007
02:58

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's Fountain of Youth

When Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson appeared on The Report, he didn't just get the Colbert Bump -- his hair looked more brown than usual.
07/23/2007
05:41

The Colbert ReportS3
Simon Schama

Simon Schama says the purpose of art is to unleash the floodgates of passion. Stephen says FEMA has to protect people from the flooding of his passion.
07/23/2007
04:30

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Premium Package

Americans have basic rights, and those rights should not be denied on the basis of their color, creed, or religion -- it should be on the basis of their tax returns.
07/23/2007
06:06

The Colbert ReportS3
Anthony Romero

ACLU Director Anthony Romero, author of "In Defense of Our America," defends Stephen's right to burn his book.
07/24/2007
04:08

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Modest Porpoisal

Stephen suggests that by eating endangered animals we can prevent their extinction.
07/24/2007
04:20

The Colbert ReportS3
Movies That Are Destroying America: Chuck and Larry

Stephen just hopes that "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" shows the dark side of gay marriage: Kevin James naked.
07/24/2007
01:52

The Colbert ReportS3
Bush's Butt

If the Bush administration is so secretive, would they have publicly handed over power to Dick Cheney while the president got a camera stuck up his butt?
07/24/2007
01:43

The Colbert ReportS3
Joining the Illuminati

Stephen tried every crazy handshake he could think of when he met President Bush.
07/24/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 7/24/07

Stephen discusses a scandal in the German zoo system, talks about the summer blockbuster season and interviews executive director of the ACLU, Anthony Romero.
07/24/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 7/25/07

Scientists develop a removable tattoo, Fred Thompson demotes his campaign manager, and Stephen asks Charles Kaiser if there's a gay Superman.
07/25/2007
03:40

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - No Regrets

Stephen believes that you should never regret a decision but instead get it tattooed on your forehead.
07/25/2007
01:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Thompson Campaign

Stephen believes America deserves a president who is ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work on a 52-ounce porterhouse.
07/25/2007
02:46

The Colbert ReportS3
Hometown Hero Town - Bryce Canyon City

In order to establish Colbert Report City, the show will now be taped in Utah. Go Jazz!
07/25/2007
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