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The Colbert Report
George Will's Long Tie
Season 5 • 10/26/2009
George Will's bowties were the only thing tethering him to reality.
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Watching
01:22
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Stephen Unveils a New Portrait
Stephen unveils his brand new portrait on the four-year anniversary of The Colbert Report's first episode.
10/15/2009
05:09
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Coal Lobbyists, George Takei & Crispycones
A coal lobby represents non-existent Americans, George Takei threatens the sanctity of game shows, and Crispycones are too easy to eat.
10/15/2009
03:29
The Colbert Report
S5
The Mayo-lution Will Not Be Televised
Stephen responds to Miracle Whip's advertising campaign with his own extreme ad for mayo.
10/15/2009
06:53
The Colbert Report
S5
Jerry Mitchell
Thanks to Jerry Mitchell's investigations, four people have gone to jail for crimes they committed in the civil rights era.
10/15/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/15/09
The Dow hits 10,000, Stephen taps into the youth culture, and Jerry Mitchell investigates unsolved crimes from the civil rights era.
10/15/2009
01:50
The Colbert Report
S5
The Money Shot
Just in case you didn't get enough of that hot stock exchange session, Stephen has the uncut version on DVD.
10/15/2009
05:26
The Colbert Report
S5
Cornel West
Cornel West criticizes Barack Obama out of concern for the poor and working class people.
10/26/2009
05:48
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Don't Ask Don't Tell
The petition signers who want to overturn the "everything but marriage" bill should be able to stay in the closet that the gay people have abandoned.
10/26/2009
05:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Get a Job
Once you get a job interview with Stephen's celebrity endorsement, you'll want to grow a mustache.
10/26/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Don't Move
Don't move so Stephen can always remember you staring at him.
10/26/2009
03:13
The Colbert Report
S5
George Will's Long Tie
Stephen has to restore balance to the universe after George Will starts wearing long ties.
10/26/2009
04:05
The Colbert Report
S5
Colbert Platinum - Harvard Billionaires & Red Diamond SUV
Harvard produces the most billionaires, and a Russian car company releases a diamond-encrusted SUV with whale penis leather interior.
10/27/2009
00:27
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Goodnight?
Brian Cox will be on tomorrow, unless this is a rerun.
10/27/2009
00:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/27/09
The Catholic Church reaches out to former members, and Gail Collins talks about the modern American woman.
10/27/2009
04:57
The Colbert Report
S5
Gail Collins
Gail Collins describes the last 50 years of progress made by American women and the new issues they face today.
10/27/2009
01:44
The Colbert Report
S5
George W. Bush's Motivational Speech
Stephen would have loved to attend George W. Bush's "Get Motivated" seminar, but he couldn't afford the $4.95 admission fee.
10/27/2009
07:28
The Colbert Report
S5
Holy Water Under the Bridge - Randall Balmer
Randall Balmer refuses to join the Catholic Church because he's suspicious of any religious group that defines itself in negative terms.
10/27/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/28/09
Stephen finds out what broke the largest particle accelerator and preps for his interview with Brian Cox by watching "Baby Einstein" tapes.
10/28/2009
05:48
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - You-Genics
Your baby will never be denied health coverage for being too fat or too skinny if you mate with an insurance company CEO.
10/28/2009
01:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Joe Lieberman Is a True Independent
Joe Lieberman proves he's independent of his Connecticut constituents by opposing a public option in health care reform.
10/28/2009
01:44
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Future Stephen
Stephen will stick a fork into a toaster unless his future self comes back to stop him.
10/28/2009
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South Park
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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07/27/2022