The Colbert Report
Syrian Conflict Action Plan
Season 9 • 09/09/2013
According to John Kerry, America is going to bring down the unbelievably small hammer on Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 John Prine
Folk legend John Prine recalls his time working as a mailman and explains why he's opposed to twerking.
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club & The Couch Bunker
Stephen assigns any book by J.D. Salinger except "Catcher in the Rye" and touts the latest product in home protection.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/5/13
Christine Quinn and Bill de Blasio vie for New York City mayor, gun owners get good news, and acoustic legend John Prine joins Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS9 Kitten Subway Crisis & The New York City Mayoral Race
Mayoral candidate Joe Lhota goes after the key anti-kitten demographic after two lost kittens shut down America's largest transportation system.
The Colbert ReportS9 Smile File - Ariel Castro & The Eric Bolling Sunshine Express
Fox News' Eric Bolling recommends that more prisoners should hang themselves like Ariel Castro to save taxpayer dollars.
The Colbert ReportS9 Egypt's Stork Bust
With tensions running high in Egypt, everyone suspects everyone else of espionage, including birds.
The Colbert ReportS9 Ronald Reagan on the Syrian Conflict
Conservatives like Bill O'Reilly have an unconditional ability to know what Super Reagan would do at any given time.
The Colbert ReportS9 Billie Jean King
Tennis legend Billie Jean King talks about her 1973 "Battle of the Sexes" match against Bobby Riggs.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Iowa, Bigger Pants & Recent Articles
Disability rights activists support gun permits for the blind, bigger pants make Stephen feel thinner, and recent articles ruin the fun in dissected human cadavers.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Spider Reagan
Stephen plays with political action figures.
The Colbert ReportS9 Syrian Conflict Action Plan
Congress knows that the only thing less popular than attacking Syria is Congress, so clearly, Congress must approve an attack on Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club - Tobias Wolff & "The Catcher in the Rye"
"This Boy's Life" author Tobias Wolff explains why he prefers Holden Caulfield to J.D. Salinger's Glass family.
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club - J.D. Salinger
America chooses not to attack Syria, and Stephen gets ready to discuss the biggest initials in 20th century literature.
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club - Shane Salerno on J.D. Salinger
"Salinger" author and director Shane Salerno talks about J.D. Salinger's lost love Oona O'Neill and the reason for Seymour Glass' suicide in "A Perfect Day for Bananafish."
The Colbert ReportS9 cOlbert's Book Club - Better Know a Salinger
J.D. Salinger flunked out of school his sophomore year because he hadn't read the sophomore book assignment -- because he hadn't written it yet.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - cOlbert's Book Club - J.D. Salinger's Glass Family
Stephen thanks members of the fictional Glass family.
The Colbert ReportS9 Barack Obama's Footgate & Secret Muslim Code
Conservative radio host Andrew Shea King accuses Obama of supporting the Muslim Brotherhood because he put his foot on the Oval Office desk.
The Colbert ReportS9 America's Got Serious Reservations About This - Syria
President Obama tries to sell Americans on a Syria strike, but Russia outmaneuvers the U.S. on a chemical weapons surrender plan.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sheryl Crow
Grammy winner Sheryl Crow talks about country music and anti-war activism.
The Colbert ReportS9 New York City Mayoral Primary
Anti-kitten Republican Joe Lhota moves to the general election, and Democratic candidate Bill de Blasio wins the gay vote against a lesbian.
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