The Colbert Report
Intro - 2/14/07
Season 3 • 02/14/2007
Stephen doesn't get the Westminster Dog Show. No one gives him a ribbon for his moist, proud snout.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sheryl WuDunn
Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
The Colbert ReportS3 Lance Armstrong
Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
The Colbert ReportS3 Safe Sex for Senior Citizens
A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Bad Medicine
It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
The Colbert ReportS3 Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephen Protects Valentine's Day
Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
The Colbert ReportS3 Catching Up With China
Stephen said China had three times as many people at America and urged the Nation to procreate. It turns out China has four times more, so the need is even greater.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/14/07
Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
The Colbert ReportS3 The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - Candice Bergen
Stephen is so keyed up for his being prayed for next week, he just can't stop thinking about it -- so he asks Candice Bergen what her prayer day was like.
The Colbert ReportS3 Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor explains that the UN consists of more than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers.
The Colbert ReportS3 Better Know a District - Arkansas' 2nd - Vic Snyder
Representative Vic Snyder refuses to donate some of his mustache hairs to help cure little children of their diseases.
The Colbert ReportS3 Helen Thomas's Chair
There's going to be a new chair in the front row of the White House press room, and Fox and Friends wants it -- and Helen Thomas's too.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/15/07
Stephen explores the power of prayer, Arkansas's 2nd district, and why former undersecretary of the UN Shashi Tharoor will have to start paying his parking tickets.
The Colbert ReportS3 The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - J.J. Abrams
Stephen makes Mastermedia International's list of the 365 most influential cultural figures its members can pray for each day.
The Colbert ReportS3 Zev Chafets
Stephen and author Zev Chafets get to the bottom of which of the two of them is the most Jewish.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - The Stupidest Person in the World
It's Monday night, and that means one thing -- it's time for The Stupidest Person in the World.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding Humiliation on the Campaign Trail
With more people running for president than ever before, it's never been easier to lose.
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