YOUR FAVORITE COMEDY CENTRAL SHOWS ARE ON PARAMOUNT+
GET PARAMOUNT+
Home
Shows
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head
Comedy Central Roasts
The Daily Show
Digman!
RENO 911!
South Park
Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News
ALL SHOWS
FULL EPISODES
PLUTO TV
TV Schedule
LIVE TV
Stand-Up
Digital Originals
Original Movies
A Clüsterfünke Christmas
Cursed Friends
Hot Mess Holiday
Out Of Office
Reno 911!: It's A Wonderful Heist
All Movies
App
SHOP
MIKE JUDGE'S BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD SHOP
DRUNK HISTORY SHOP
South Park Shop
WORKAHOLICS SHOP
Comedy Central Shop
The Colbert Report
Menu
Episodes & Videos
About
The Colbert Report
America Doesn't Torture
Season 1 • 11/08/2005
The president says that America doesn't do anything illegal.
More
Watching
03:32
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - Hoser
After Canada picked up The Colbert Report, Stephen began to rethink his ill feelings towards the country that was once put on notice.
11/07/2005
03:46
The Colbert Report
S1
ThreatDown - Pirates
Stephen warns us about pirates, Canadian optometrists, professional musicians, mixing romance with NASCAR, and of course, bears.
11/07/2005
00:41
The Colbert Report
S1
Yet Another Day - Flesh-Eating Virus
Tomorrow morning on "Yet Another Day," Christina tells you how to avoid contracting a flesh-eating virus.
11/08/2005
01:28
The Colbert Report
S1
Intercepted Satellite Feed
Bloggers intercepted satellite feed of Stephen's interview with Bradley Whitford and posted the footage on the Internet.
11/08/2005
03:25
The Colbert Report
S1
Tip/Wag - Convicted Murderers
Prisons holding murderers should step up their level of security to, say, that of a local bar.
11/08/2005
02:21
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - T.O.
The Philadelphia Eagles are suspending Terrell Owens for the rest of the season. But they've forgotten something: Terrell is a very good football player.
11/08/2005
00:08
The Colbert Report
S1
Fract - Franagram: American Patriot
"American Patriot" anagrams to "I am an erotic part."
11/08/2005
01:48
The Colbert Report
S1
Wilford Brimley Calls - Cocoon
Wilford Brimley doesn't understand why Stephen isn't using the cocoon he sent as a set decoration.
11/08/2005
00:31
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 11/8/05
On the agenda: Terrell Owens, torture, Christmas tradition and Court TV's Catherine Crier.
11/08/2005
07:20
The Colbert Report
S1
Catherine Crier
To get into the news business, Catherine Crier said, "Boys, I've got a camera in the living room. You wanna come over and make a tape?"
11/08/2005
01:13
The Colbert Report
S1
America Doesn't Torture
The president says that America doesn't do anything illegal. Torture is illegal. Ergo -- and that's Latin for "bite me" -- we do not torture.
11/08/2005
00:27
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 11/9/05
Arnold Schwarzenegger's propositions are turned down at the ballot box, and Stephen looks forward to talking with author Mary Roach.
11/09/2005
05:50
The Colbert Report
S1
Mary Roach
Stephen and author Mary Roach contact a spirit from the past in the studio.
11/09/2005
05:14
The Colbert Report
S1
Better Know a District - Florida's 7th - John Mica
Congressman John Mica stands for his district with the tenacity of an alligator that shows up in your garage after a hurricane.
11/09/2005
03:47
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - Willy Loman
Mr. Schwarzenegger, get back to what you do best: jamming Arnold into people's holes.
11/09/2005
02:18
The Colbert Report
S1
Next Question
At the recent White House press briefings it looks like Scott McClellan is about to crap his pants or burst into tears.
11/09/2005
02:18
The Colbert Report
S1
All You Need to Know - Kansas Education
The Kansas Board of Education approves the teaching of intelligent design in the classroom.
11/09/2005
05:43
The Colbert Report
S1
Cokie Roberts
Cokie Roberts recalls an old Washington, where people could disagree without being disagreeable.
11/10/2005
00:34
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 11/10/05
Congress hard at work, the re-branding of Veteran's Day and Cokie Roberts -- all on tonight's show.
11/10/2005
03:30
The Colbert Report
S1
The DaColbert Code - Samuel Alito
Stephen uses The DaColbert Code to pierce the veil of secrecy and solve modern-day mysteries.
11/10/2005
02:56
The Colbert Report
S1
The In-Box - Asian Stereotypes
In an attempt to apologize for accidentally perpetuating an Asian stereotype, Stephen shares some of The Report's airtime with its sister station in Osaka.
11/10/2005
You may also like
5 Videos
Trailer
01:00
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29
A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41
Cursed Friends
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22
Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35
South Park
S25
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022