The Colbert Report
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies
Season 5 • 04/01/2009
Prescott introduces the new disposable endoscope for veterans.
The 10.31 ProjectThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
Obama's Epic Dog QuestThe Colbert ReportS5
The Obamas' epic search for a dog inspired Stephen to write his own children's book.
David PlotzThe Colbert ReportS5
David Plotz learned that the Bible is a lot messier than what they teach in Sunday school.
Sudoku AnswersThe Colbert ReportS5
Spoiler alert: Stephen has the answers to today's sudoku.
Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Association of AmericaThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen urges John Sturm to include a porn section in online newspapers to earn extra cash.
Dambisa MoyoThe Colbert ReportS5
Dambisa Moyo wants to focus on long-term growth for Africa instead of temporary solutions.
Hide-and-SeekThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
The Word - Fine LineThe Colbert ReportS5
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
Intro - 4/1/09The Colbert ReportS5
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
French Worker ProtestsThe Colbert ReportS5
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & ColonoscopiesThe Colbert ReportS5
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
Intro - 4/2/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
Merriam-Webster's Word's WorthThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & SpaceThe Colbert ReportS5
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
Cheney's Secret Assassination SquadThe Colbert ReportS5
It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
Let Your GPS Be Your GuideThe Colbert ReportS5
Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
Biz StoneThe Colbert ReportS5
Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling RoomThe Colbert ReportS5
NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
Intro - 4/6/09The Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
Obama's European Trip - Tom BrokawThe Colbert ReportS5
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
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