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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Let Your GPS Be Your Guide
Season 5 • 04/02/2009
A GPS is far more reliable than your conscience.
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Watching
00:16
Hide-and-Seek
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
04/01/2009
05:14
The Word - Fine Line
The Colbert Report
S5
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
04/01/2009
00:32
Intro - 4/1/09
The Colbert Report
S5
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
04/01/2009
05:45
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies
The Colbert Report
S5
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
04/01/2009
02:41
French Worker Protests
The Colbert Report
S5
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
04/01/2009
00:34
Intro - 4/2/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
04/02/2009
03:19
Merriam-Webster's Word's Worth
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
04/02/2009
06:26
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space
The Colbert Report
S5
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
04/02/2009
02:10
Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad
The Colbert Report
S5
It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
04/02/2009
07:09
Biz Stone
The Colbert Report
S5
Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
04/02/2009
00:18
Let Your GPS Be Your Guide
The Colbert Report
S5
Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
04/02/2009
05:00
Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling Room
The Colbert Report
S5
NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
04/06/2009
00:31
Intro - 4/6/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
04/06/2009
04:42
Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw
The Colbert Report
S5
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
04/06/2009
02:28
Un-American News - Rest of the World
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
04/06/2009
00:15
Make Lemonade
The Colbert Report
S5
If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
04/06/2009
03:14
Body Loss
The Colbert Report
S5
Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
04/06/2009
00:15
Rich Lowry
The Colbert Report
S5
Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
04/06/2009
00:15
Hiccup-Free
The Colbert Report
S5
The Colbert Report is no longer hiccup-free.
04/07/2009
01:20
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
The Colbert Report
S5
To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
04/07/2009
04:55
The Word - Morally Bankrupt
The Colbert Report
S5
TV has so little societal value that Bill Gates is willing to pay to provide the most cursory positive messages.
04/07/2009
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