The Colbert Report

Let Your GPS Be Your Guide

Season 5 • 04/02/2009

A GPS is far more reliable than your conscience.

More

Watching

00:16

The Colbert ReportS5
Hide-and-Seek

Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
04/01/2009
05:14

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Fine Line

The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
04/01/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/1/09

The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
04/01/2009
05:45

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies

A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
04/01/2009
02:41

The Colbert ReportS5
French Worker Protests

Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
04/01/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/2/09

President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
04/02/2009
03:19

The Colbert ReportS5
Merriam-Webster's Word's Worth

Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
04/02/2009
06:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space

Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
04/02/2009
02:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad

It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
04/02/2009
07:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Biz Stone

Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
04/02/2009
00:18

The Colbert ReportS5
Let Your GPS Be Your Guide

Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
04/02/2009
03:59

The Colbert ReportS5
Colbert's Easter Parade

From Easter Bunnies to Prayer Bedtime Bears, Stephen points out the many signs that Easter is under attack in this mashup video.
04/06/2009
05:00

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling Room

NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
04/06/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/6/09

Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
04/06/2009
04:42

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw

Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
04/06/2009
02:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Un-American News - Rest of the World

Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Make Lemonade

If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
04/06/2009
03:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Body Loss

Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Rich Lowry

Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
04/06/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Hiccup-Free

The Colbert Report is no longer hiccup-free.
04/07/2009
01:20

The Colbert ReportS5
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment

To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
04/07/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

RENO 911!
RENO 911! Is Back on the Beat with All-New Episodes

Reno's finest are keeping the streets safe of everything but themselves when RENO 911! returns with all-new episodes, starting Wednesday, October 19 at 10:30/9:30c.
10/03/2022
Trailer
01:50

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in Cursed Friends, premiering October 8 at 8/7c.
09/28/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:30

Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the NewsS1
Tooning Out the News Is Coming to Comedy Central

Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News, the critically acclaimed animated news series, is moving to Comedy Central starting October 5 after The Daily Show.
09/16/2022
Trailer
00:35

South ParkS25
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022